Goal: Get the cheapest mobile phone with the cheapest service available with minimal hassle.
Status: Success.
After an unsuccessful attempt to purchase a pre-paid phone and get some answers about mobile service from the Migros and then the Swisscomm in the Cornavin Les Cygnes, I made my way to the closest Orange Center. The Orange Center was much more organized than the previous two locations, with a ticket system and a display over the counter that even had the pictures and names of the next available agent. The lady helping me (thankfully) spoke English, and I had a Samsung cellphone with CHF10 in credit within minutes, and I was only poorer by CHF19.
You don't pay to receive phone calls. SMS is only 10 cents, both inside and outside of Switzerland (I checked with her several times to confirm that this was the case). With a CHF10 charge (which comes with your initial purchase), you get either 20 free texts/day, free internet, or free calls to other Orange subscriber for 7 days. Unsurprisingly, the phone has a cheap display, but seems otherwise sturdy. If you're not planning to stay in Switzerland very long, this is definitely the way to go.
Oh, don't forget your passport, you'll need it to open an account. read more