I guess my story is a classic "ninja finally submits to the harsh reality of his trade" story. It's a bit cliche at this point, but a lifetime of ninjitsu training in a remote dojo in a forest deep in the Japanese mountains made me a silent and relentless killing machine. I worked hard for years, and eventually i was the best. Everyone wanted to hire The Silent Killer of Clan Hamazaki, and i made good money.
I was on top of the world.
However, my reputation became too great. My enemies set a trap for me after pretending to hire me to assassinate a well known mob banker. 115 ninjas lay in wait for me as i entered the warehouse where my target was supposedly in hiding. Of course, i slaughtered all 115 of these ninjas, because i am the best in the world. However after such a slaughter, it left me with a rather sore lower back.
I was getting old.
I decided it was time for a new life for me. I needed to escape the life of killing that i had grown up in, and was molded by. I decided to move to America, specifically to the northwestern Chicago suburbs, where i could live out the rest of my life being an honorable Walmart greeter.
13 years later, I decided to finally seek help about my sore lower back after it had been bugging me for so long. A friend of mine recommended i go see Dr. Niequist, so i did go see the healing man. To my amazement, after just one visit, my back felt infinitely better. And even after a few more, i was feeling like i was only 94 years old again!
What an amazing place this is. read more