I'm writing this as a second-year student in the 6-month Somatica training led by Celeste and…read moreDanielle - a training for people who want to become sex and relationship coaches and/or just want to access powerful info and transformational tools for themselves.
I came to Somatica in the throes of the breakup of my loving yet sexually dead marriage. (Actually, I first found Somatica online when searching for help for my spouse and me, but for complex reasons, my spouse was not willing to go.) I wanted a place where I learn how to get my own sexual needs met after a very long and painful drought. I wanted to better understand why I had chosen to partner with a wonderful person with whom I never had great sex -- why we could never break through to the level of sexual joy I'd had with my other partners, and also why I stayed. When I attended the free Intro, I was especially impressed by Celeste and Danielle's combination of leadership and vulnerability. I thought "If I can learn to lead and teach from a more vulnerable place, that alone will make the training worthwhile for me."
I got so much more than I even knew I wanted or could get! Leading and teaching from a place of vulnerability is still a growth edge for me, but I have a model now, and validation and encouragement. I also learned sooo much about different sexual scripts and turn-ons, which gave me so much insight about why my spouse and I hadn't connected well, and helped me become less judgmental/fearful, and much more open/playful around turn-ons different from my own.
I learned how to be in charge of my own arousal and share it with others, rather than having to wait for them to elicit it in my preferred ways. I learned how easily I could share sexual energy with a wide variety of people, and reveled in the permission to do so. I got triggered and dealt with it. I had some incredibly healing and illuminating practice sessions with class members. I got help. I got challenged. I did some challenging of my own. I got humbled and freaked out at times, but I kept showing up and kept growing. I learned and integrated sooo much about attachment, which helped me finally stop taking the pain of my marriage so personally. Oh, and I learned some incredibly valuable lessons about repair, lessons that I've been able to use to, for instance, transform a tense and angry conversation with my landlord into an exchange of mutual vulnerability and connection! I also learned how to belatedly ask for - and receive - some deep attachment wound healing with my former spouse. I have become much less emotionally reactive in general, much more internally resilient. Of course, this is a path I've been on for a long time, but my experience in Somatica has greatly deepened my learning.
All these specifics barely begin to scratch the surface of what I learned and how I changed. There's so much more! I appreciated the experience so much that I signed up to do it again the following year! I'm so appreciative of the curriculum Celeste and Danielle have created, the community they foster, the values they uphold, the wisdom and humility with which they teach.
And OK, that said, of course no one is perfect, and no one is a perfect coach or teacher for everyone, and no single 6-month training can truly prepare someone with no prior training to navigate this difficult terrain skillfully. If you are considering working with Celeste, Danielle or anyone else, I suggest you carefully assess whether their personality, values and approach resonate with you, your values and what you seek. I haven't done one-on-one work with either of them, but from my experience in class, I'd say that I believe C&D work with great skill and integrity to try to help you create the sexual and love life you truly want -- yet like everyone, they do have their own biases, and those are bound to influence them (again, this would be true of anyone with whom you might work.) If you are considering working with a Somatica-trained practitioner, check out what other background and training they have; many of the students have enormous amounts of relevant experience, but not all do. If you are considering joining the class, know that this is wonderful, transformational work, and as such, will push you to your growth edges (that's the whole point! but of course, it can sometimes be uncomfortable.) I will say this, though: I'm a tough sell. I've been around the transformational block for a few decades, and for me to emerge from a six-month training and immediately re-up, says a lot :)