The Doomed Valentine's Day Special was a great choice for a first-timer at this event. It was nonstop fun, from beginning to end, lots of impressive moments, and plenty of comedy in unconventional ways. The personalities on stage did not disappoint this past Friday at the DNA Lounge in SF. The doors opened one hour before the listed showtime, with a small line that went quickly, and I was a able to snag one of the few non-reserved seats on the floor (reserved seating costs extra). There were just a few of these folding chairs in the back row of the main seating area and a couple booths on both sides of the venue. A few standing tables between the seating area and bar in the back. And bar height stools lining the balcony upstairs. Great music played in the background before the show, songs from the 70's, 80's, and 90's fitting for the event, including If It Isn't Love, Take My Breath Away, Baby Come Back, and You Make My Dreams Come True. The show started on time with some contests for audience members, one related to guessing song lyrics and the other with participants performing fake orgasms on stage. The main stars of the show consisted of two parts that I believe are equally deserving of praise, the performances by the house band as well as the actual storytellers. Readings of secret diary entries and aol conversations, talks of being half fingered, and fantastical hilarious drawings of teenage love (borderline stalker-ish thoughts illustrated on paper) with great commentary to go along with it. And that's just the half of it. I seriously could not stop laughing. The improv house band (D-Minus Kids) were comical and remarkably talented! Beatboxing, looping, rapping, the sounds of the keyboard and vocals... they did it all, improvised on the spot, following the performers' readings of old journal entries or stories written about their naive romantic pursuits and experiences. The band poked fun at each performer in between each act, through funky tunes and clever lyrics, and I just couldn't get enough! Can't believe it took me this long to finally check out this event... makes me reminisce about my own old journals and creations, stuff that would definitely be mortifying if I wasn't choking on laughter looking back at it today. Needless to say, I highly recommend this show! read more

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Sooooo funny! I've seen this many times and it never fails to amuse me and the many friends I have brought with me.

Queueing up outside DNA Lounge my plus-one eyes the crowd. "I'm the oldest one here" he observes truthfully then, "what are we seeing?" I love compliant men. I cannot tell you the shows I've dragged this one to and he generally hasn't a clue what he's in for until the lights go down. "Get Mortified" (which is actually, these days, just called "Mortified") is a show I'd been hoping to catch for a long while now and it didn't disappoint. Five presenters take the stage, one after another, to read excerpts from their childhood (mostly teenage) diaries. Behind them is a blown-up photo of their childhood selves, the geekier the better. Between readers, a house band plays with an improvisational singer ad-libbing a song about the scribblings you've just heard being read aloud. There's a sameness to the experience of almost each of the five presentations, probably because there's only so many ways in which an awkward teen or pre-teen can express in writing their sexual frustration, angst, and longing for love. A good job was done in curating the show to minimize this fact but I still departed feeling like I was done. This wasn't like Porchlight (a monthly storytelling series), where I could come back another time for an entirely new experience; a single experience was enough, though that fact didn't at all lessen my enjoyment. There's laughs aplenty to be had in watching this show. Understandably, some presenters evoke more guffaws than others but each presenter isn't on long enough to set you to yawning. If anything, you remain highly attuned to the less interesting presenters hoping to hear that gem that got them selected for this experience. What people will share on stage is amazing. If I had any gripes at all I'd point towards the band about whom my plus-one said "I wish they'd just play one good song between acts as opposed to a series of improvised songs. I know they're more talented than that" (old people call it as they see it). I'd also gripe about the lack of seating; I arrived plenty early only to find all seats taken. I'm capable of standing through a show but I much prefer to sit. This show had a lot of standees. Mortified is currently playing on the regular at DNA Lounge and elsewhere, with frequent change-ups of its "cast". If you enjoy laughing - regardless of your age - it's a good bet you'll like the show. read more

Do you ever get that panicked feeling inside where you think to yourself, " sh*t! did I turn off the stove?" or perhaps " I hope to everything that is holy my mother didn't pull out the photo album of me in hyper color leggings which turned to special colors in really inappropriate areas" when you bring your first real boyfriend home? WELL. If these things and emotions have handicapped you from moving on with your life, you need to come get mortifed. Plain and simple. See? It's a cathartic experience, to retell the deep dark secrets and introspective moments of your life as a teen and perhaps a late blooming virgin. I saw my first Mortified performance at the Starry Plough in Berkeley and couldn't have been more thrilled by the cramped, intimate storytelling that went on for 90 minutes. 6 brave (and perhaps drunk) people got up on stage and shared their tales of angst against the popular kids ( damn them) and a burgeoning sexuality while trying to remain a evangelical Christian while dry humping. Inappropriate break ups and make ups and hair were all exposed for the public to see and I, as an admirer laughed and laughed all night. I highly recommend this to anyone who needs a good laugh...no..a GREAT laugh and who just loves a good story. It is almost as if you get insight into the lives of these random strangers and suddenly your teen years make sense. Or in my case make me realize I was a rather dull child ;-) Tickets were cheap and the beer was too. A great night to spend with a date or with friends. read more

Had a great night at Get Mortified. I'd seen it in L.A. years ago but this was my first time in S.F. The show sells out so I recommend getting there early to get good seats. It was scheduled from 7-8 PM but didn't start until 7:20 and didn't end until 9:00, so be aware in case you have dinner reservations or something. Long lines for beer before the show and during intermission -- there were three stories in each half. The performers are great, reading from actual teenage diaries and weaving the entries into a story around a theme. It's touching, funny, heartbreaking, and inspiring. The audience is really enthusiastic and into it which is fun, you're definitely not laughing alone, and there's a lot of interesting conversation at the intermission. read more

Mortified - Performing Arts Near Me

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Always fun to hear teenage thoughts, sexual exploits, and high school gossip from adults! I was surprised at the range of ages of the readers - from late 20s through 50s, and they were all hilarious. The audience is also super supportive, especially several who seemed a little nervous. These are all regular people, reading their REAL diaries, and it's such a fun experience! Make sure to show up early.. or at least on time, unlike me =). I had to stand in the back the entire time. read more

Can you . . . imagine having, at age 13, written a screenplay called Apocalyptic Island about deflowering the woman of your dreams - played by Phoebe Cates - while stranded on a desert island? Or being a 15 year old girl, keeping a journal about how your breasts ached for a man's touch? Or being a precocious teen poet with a stunning vocabulary but nothing to write about except your head cold and disdain for pastels? Now imagine being a grownup and reading your teen-ruminations out loud to a full audience in a bar . . . backed up by a band called Live Evil (yes - it's a palindrome!), featuring a bass player who looks stunningly like Lemmy, who can't stop laughing -- like everyone else in the room -- because this shit is FUNNY. Yup - it's funny, because it's true . . . read more

Went to the annual Valentine Show at DNA Lounge in SF. The show was pretty good. Probably woulda enjoyed it more if we had seats. We bought general admission tickets and arrived literally 5 min after doors opened. There were probably only 15 seats unreserved, the rest all had reserved signs. It would have been helpful had they set expectations prior to purchasing as to the number of unreserved seats they had and the fact that the vast majority would need to stand. So stand we did, for 3 hours, with people constantly pushing up against us. Not fun. Not sure I'd see another show and certainly not at DNA lounge. read more

I paid double for a reserved seat. When I arrived there were no reserved seats and I had to stand. When I asked for a refund for the extra I paid for the reserved seat they said they have a no refund policy. BS read more

Get there early! The show was hilarious and the band Freeze was charming and funny. Only been once and practically peed my pants laughing so hard. Thoroughly enjoyed 3 of the 5 performances. Would definitely go again, however I'm not feeling the packed in like a sardine look. Not cute. Stood in line for an hour prior to the show to swoop a seat only to be slammed into, drinks poured on me and bitches with their laundry quarters dropped on my neck. Don't necessarily blame the others there to view the show, but management for packing people in so tight. Unsure if this is ADA accessible either. Get there early! I mean it! If not, be prepared to stand the entire show and rub more than elbows with people - and not in a good way. In a hella fucking annoying way. Yo, management: why don't you raise ticket prices a few bucks and let less people in so I don't ruin my outfit and have to endure the dude's BO whose decided not to shower the past week. THX! read more

TL;DR --- Declines in fun over time, go at least once for the unique experience. I've been a handful of times, most of them at the old Makeout room location in the Mission and most recently at the DNA Lounge. The show felt better and more participatory when we were all packed into the Makeout room and I didn't notice recycled performances from previous shows. The intimate vibe and closeness to the stage were amazing. The most recent show at the DNA Lounge was disappointing: - Billed as a larger venue with more seating, it failed to live up to this promise. Basically the same number of seats, lots more standing room, and an abundance of *reserved tables* upstairs. Not knowing building codes, I would say they didn't make good use of the additional free space. - read more

Oh my dear god. I literally can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. I was really wary when this was suggested as a Saturday night date. For starters, I don't really love going out in the Mission. Then the way it was described to me made me think I was being dragged to a spoken word poetry event. I was 90% certain I'd be the only guy there without visible tattoos and vintage hipster attire. But my date is pretty damn hot and I've been know to be flexible under those conditions. I'm fairly articulate but there are no words that can express the hilarity that ensued. I won't repeat what was heard, even in snippets, as it wouldn't do justice to the people who actually had the guts to get up there and read. Now I suspect that a solid 30% of the readings were scripted or contrived rather than genuine diary entries, but that doesn't detract in the slightest. If anything it makes for great conversational opportunities as to what was real or not. I'll be going back. Probably again and again. The Makeout Room was a great venue for it too. Cheap drinks, bartenders who make a strong pour and dim lighting. What could be better for a second date? read more

You know how you occasionally stumble upon artifacts from a distant past you'd rather not remember? A past filled with training bras, painful orthodontics, freewheeling angst and dreams of what it might feel like to French somebody? In Get Mortified, people get in front of an audience and actually share said artifacts, whether they be diary entries, love notes, short stories, videos or song lyrics. And you, the audience, gets to have drinks and laugh at them. In short, it is HILARIOUS, and it RULES. You can catch it once every month or two at the Make-Out Room. read more

Came this close (..................) to peeing my pants. I never kept a diary with graphic images of my adolescent sex fantasies. Nor did I write a 300-page novel to convince myself (and three teachers) that I was not homosexual. But there are people in this world, nay, in this glorious country that did, and I am so grateful that I now know that. Uh-mazing. read more

I saw this at JCC in Berkeley. I didn't know what to expect. It could be hilarious or painfully awful. So we sat in the back on the aisle in case we needed to make a quick exit. There is hilarity in the painfull awful embarassing moments of youth. I laughed so hard I thought I would number 3. This is not an open mic kind of thing. These are real people and each reading is hilarious and smart and engaging. I am totally going to go see it again. read more

I saw the 6th anniversary show at Shattuck Down Low in Berkeley. Hearing these stories was a remarkable experience. Some of their writings were surprisingly mature for intimate teenage musings, to the point that I wondered if they'd been rewritten. Regardless, hearing that other people were more awkward and confused than you as teenagers was hysterical. A return trip is in order. Maybe I'll see a first-time reader go through a catharsis on stage. When should you get there? The website recommends at least 30 minutes before the scheduled showtime and on my night that was accurate. Doors opened at 7, we arrived around 720 for a scheduled 8 start. We had a choice of seats but a couple dozen people had to stand. The show actually started at 815-830 and that allowed us to buy a second drink and get back to our seats...a definite plus. *Make sure you bring your tickets, in print or on a smartphone.* There's no list of names. read more

went last night for their 3rd year anniversary and had a GREAT TIME! this time we went early and got seats which is why my review is a lot better. it was a cooler night then the last time, so it didn't feel as stuffy. the crowd was great and the stories HILLARIOUS. plus they threw in a few trivia questions, free prizes and a "rap-off". good stuff. they have $5 pitches of beer and yummy lemon drops (though a bit stronger than i'm used to). good times. read more

Saw them at the New Parish in Oakland, showed up 45mins before and there were no seats available. That's the Bay Area for you, expected to stand for 2hrs... I didn't laugh once, smiled maybe twice. read more

I've seen a handful of Mortified shows over the past ~10 years. Tonight we saw them at the New Parish in Oakland. We didn't have tickets but got there early (1 hour before the show) and were able to buy tickets at the door for $20/person and got seats. The show started pretty much on time and ended around 9:15. The show was good but not the funniest I've seen but always a fun experience. The Freeze band is always fantastic. The only thing I didn't love about the location was you could strongly smell the cigarette smoke from the courtyard which was a bit overpowering at times being a non-smoker. But will continue going to the shows for a good laugh. read more

Amazing and a can't miss! What a great concept - adults read their teenage diaries set to adhoc music! And the scripts change on a cadence because they bring new people to read their diaries all the time. This is a great date activity because it's super hilarious. The one thing I would say is that the venues are small and the shows are always overbooked so get there an hour early so you can grab a seat. read more

I attended a Get Mortified show when a good friend of mine auditioned for the show and made it in. A group of friends went to support her, most of us not knowing what exactly to expect. There were 5 people 'performing' that night and each of them had me laughing harder than the last. If they all were like my friend, then yes, they were 100% authentic stories. Some were funny because we could relate, others just from listening to the horrors of youth. We were all raving about it afterwards and would definitely plan an outing again, even if a friend wasn't in it. read more

Over time, the producers of this show have milked this shows success. As I write this review, I've had to wait for 1.2 hours since the doors have opened, and 45 minutes later than the show was scheduled to start. Prices for bottled of water are $4 and the heat from the packed in crowd is unbearable. To top it off, the speaking guests have been recycled from a previous show. I'll never see this show again. read more

This is a must see! The show is raw and hilarious. The collective awkward experience of adolescence makes this a fun and intimate night out. There is a great vibe in crowd and lots of laughs to be had. A great date night. read more

Great stories and seemed genuine to me. Show loses a few points with it's way too loud but great music while they never start the show on time. Loses MAJOR points with the band Freeze which is the worst wanna be rap ever. Get there super early or plan to stand for the show. Lose the band and it's a wonderful show. read more

I saw the show at Berkeley's Shattuck Down Low. My wife had seen the show in DC and SF and wanted me to check it out. I didn't know what to expect. I guessed it would be a modest gathering of people who managed to document their awkward youth in bad poetry. In actuality we got there to find a line outside and standing room only inside. All available seats were taken when we walked in, but the wait at the bar wasn't bad. There were 5 performers (ranging 30-40yo) who got up to the mic to share their stories. An MC started it off with some trivia and prizes which got the mood going. Each of the performers shared something different and all were very entertaining. The house band The Freeze were good and free-styled between the readers; riffing on highlights from the story just told. I had a good time and would see it again, but I recommend getting there as early as you can so you don't end up with an obscured view. Short walk from BART. Very good time for $15. read more

Last night I met a couple of friends at the Make-out room (22nd and mission) to see Get Mortified. I had no idea what to expect but the hilarity that ensued blew me away. There were about five readers, four of them reading journal entrys they wrote when they were between 12 and 17. The fifth read a speech she wrote when running for some student government position. Fucking hilarious and totally therapeutic. After each, a band played some funny song related to the theme of the reading, like: "I Want Your Sex," the Cheers theme song, etc. Good times. read more

Mortified is universal. It is hard not to identify with the brave souls who get up on stage and share their most embarrassing moments from childhood that have been immortalized in the form of diary entries, poems, songs, and videos. It is more honest than stand-up, and more comedic than therapy. It is the space between identifying with your younger self, and rejecting it. There is a pride that comes with being the one with the most embarrassing past and these performers, in front of huge sold out crowds, get to become celebrities for having been oftentimes the least popular, smelly fat kid in high school. Some of the mortified have found future success outside of mortified from sharing their more embarrassing and childish moments. Take for example the famous case of Laurent Martini, your average thirty something antiques dealer who chose a life of quiet, lower middle class comfort rather than following his childhood dreams of becoming an 80's hair metal god: traveling the world, rocking arenas, ravaging groupies, devouring drugs and booze, and starting the occasional switchblade fight... That is, until he found Mortified. Since reading at Mortified excerpts from his list of over 120 songs that he penned at the age of 14, his imaginary band, LIVE EVIL, has become a reality. He now is the lead singer of of the band that he had given up on so many years ago. LIVE EVIL is regularly the Mortified SF house band, has toured to LA, has sold the rights to a movie about Laurent's life and LIVE EVIL, and has recorded an album of 13 of the songs that he thought would stay locked away in the Trapper Keeper of his youth. Now an adult, Laurent is finding that the youth that he had forgotten is now the future that he had only dreamed of. This is the magic of Mortified. It reminds us to embrace our inner child before we throw it under the bus. read more

Great fun when you're old enough to look back on your angsty teenage years with nostalgia and realize how glad you are that you've evolved. Great to attend with childhood friends and reminisce. Readings are funny in their simplicity. The "problems" you had when you're 15 really are so trivial at 30 which is why they're so funny. The house band that improves a song after each reading is hilarious -The Freeze (white 30 somethings rapping), super talented though. Go at least once. read more

If there were more stars to give, I would give them. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. I laughed so hard my face hurt. I saw the "doomed valentines" show at the Shattuck Down Low, and it was exquisite. I can't wait to see them again next month! read more

Funnier than any professional stand-up comedy club, I've been 9 or 10 times over the past 4 years. Adults read their teenage love letters, diaries, journals, song lyrics to a room of strangers. Makes a great date night out or an early evening group night out. Should be less over-crowded now that it's at DNA Lounge. read more

Skipp it! Started 15minutes late, best performance was from an audience member. Don't go unless your really into watching a bunch of adults act like adolescents. Punch line could and should do better for improv. read more

such an inexpensive way to spend SUCH AN AWESOME NIGHT. get a taco at the spot across the street, order a few beers, and enjoy. get there early for seats! read more

great entertainment for $15! get there early because they often run out of seats and then you'd have to stand in the back.

A really fun show to go to with friends, especially those you've known since those embarrassing years of junior high and high school. The performers are all just regular folks with amazingly cringe-worthy stories of their youth, and The Freeze are a really talented improv band that accompany them and riffs of their material. My one complaint is there is little seating at the DNA lounge, so unless you get there early, be prepared to stand while you laugh (and shudder). read more

oh mortified - what has become of you?!? i guess i was spoiled by the many years of great mortified entertainment at the 'make-out room.' didn't go for a couple of years, partially because it was starting to become redundant and the same guy kept reading from the same diary and performing the same sad music. yesyes, we know you were (are?) a dork and you wanted to be a musician. we get it! fine. i''m sure its not easy to book shows monthly in different venues and get good quality diaries, consistently. but then, last month, i made the mistake of checking out mortified at the dna lounge for the valentine's show. what they say about restaurants moving to bigger venues apparently holds true for mortified - it was great and now it sucks! what is with the absolutely non-funny, horrific "band" of morons that amuses only themselves? they were so bad that it was difficult to get over it and actually follow the acts, which were ~ok. one bordered on the great. the others made me realize that a half-warm beer and re-runs of the real housewives of somewhere other would be better entertainment! add to that the dna lounge's layout which simply does not work for this show. too packed and one simply can't see the stage from most spots upstairs or, for that matter, really follow the show: its too loud and there were plenty of bored people engaging in their own version of friday-night entertainment while probably figuring out how many drinks the $15 ticket might have bought. the bartender flirting up a storm right behind me with a ever-changing variety of aaaahhhmm yes that, was infinitely funnier than what was going on downstairs on stage. good bye, mortified. it was great while it lasted! read more