Me and the missus usually go Airbnb, but this time we chose a 3-star hotel right in the middle of…read moreAlbufeira. First of all, we were disgusted to discover that the hotel is located directly across from a street where every other building is a booming late night club/restaurant which caters almost exclusively for the type of British football hooligan-esque that usually flock to places like Lanzarote or Ibiza, but somehow washed ashore on the south cast and stumbled onto the street across from my hotel room where they chose to spend every night dancing, drinking, shouting and skirt-chasing until the wee hours every night of the week. The windows on the patio doors 3 feet from my bed were vibrating all night to the shatteringly loud, trashy clubbing beats. I half expected that a group of stray Everton supporters were gonna smash through the patio door, topless, flabby, big red faces, burned backs, cheap gold necklaces shouting , in thick East London accents"LETS GO FAACKING MENTOOOOLLL!"
However, if it weren't for the locals, I still wouldn't recommend this hotel, because of a plethora of reasons. The staff all seemed ill-informed, the breakfast seemed good at first because the idea of reading the menu and seeing "bread, butter, water, juice, coffee, cappuccino, hot chocolate, toasting facility, mini-croissants, various cheeses and meat selection, various fresh fruits, and full British breakfast, and all unlimited buffet" seems good....but then you inspect the quality of all of those individual elements, and its all cheap, stale, over-rotated, and by the third day, it will make you sick to your stomach. As for the dinner...the food is a significant step up from breakfast and they try multiple options, but the waiters and hotel assistants are constantly hovering, talking very loudly to each other to re-fill the food stations, taking your places even if you haven't finished, so you can't relax. (oh...and they charge you for water at dinner!!)
Also advert - "air-conditioned rooms"....reality - the air-conditioning doesn't work in any room, and we had to move twice, and it didn't work well in any room. You get the idea. The hotel looks nice and for the decor I give those stars.