Dear Mr. A Jay Fowinkle, I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Ashlie. You represented my…read moreex-husband, during our divorce in 2021. I have debated for a long time whether to write this letter. I am writing now because I believe you should know the lasting consequences that the parenting plan, drafted during my divorce, has had on my life and on my children.And has still,here and now.
At the time, I was a stay-at-home mother of more than 21 years. I was emotionally broken, intimidated by the legal process, and completely unaware of what rights I was giving away. Looking back, I realize I signed a parenting plan that I did not truly understand, and one whose deceptively vague language, has allowed my ex-husband to exercise a level of control over my life that has continued for years after our divorce.I understand that your duty was to represent your client. However, I also believe attorneys have a professional responsibility to recognize when an agreement is so broad, vague, or one-sided that it creates an opportunity for abuse. In my experience, that is exactly what happened. You were aware of the ethical line you crossed. The provision granting my ex-husband "ultimate decision-making authority", has been used far beyond resolving disagreements. Most instances there is no disagreement. It has been used to "trump" almost every GENERAL parental right, and in instances where there is no disagreement/conflict whatsoever. It has affected my ability to obtain school records, communicate with teachers, participate in medical decisions, and simply be the mother my children deserved to have. Tie breaking authority is something to be Added to a plan after a long time frame of disagreements, as a last resort. Not something put in a parenting plan right away, after a divorce. There was absolutely no reason for Tie Breaking Authority. This was slipped in, after the section regarding GENERAL PARENTING PROVISIONS. Also, Tie Breaking Authority, is supposed to be specific, to a certain area (like schooling) and to be balanced out, with another parent given that authority in another area. It took years of having my General and Basic rights violated on every level, for me to do some study of ethics, and Florida Statute, to learn that no parenting plan, absent extreme circumstances, should have one Parent given "Ultimate Tie Breaking Authority"....At all! Let alone with no boundaries, and to be exercised "generally". And then it states, "this is in the best interest of the children". Did you decide that was in their best interest?
For years I have been subjected to repeated drug and alcohol testing. Negative tests were followed by additional testing. If I was unable to leave work on demand to test, it was treated as a refusal. Instead of allowing me to demonstrate that I had addressed my past mistakes, the process became an endless cycle that I could never escape. A "step-up phase", is spoken of briefly, with no clarification of WHAT that would be! A 6-month clock, reset over and over, with no basis.... technichality after fabricated technichality, left to allow this person to serve as a parole agent or probation officer, over my life. A "step-up phase" that I reached 4 years ago, but due to the vagueness of this "Plan", became a "Never-Never-land. My past struggles with prescription medication were real, and I have never denied them. However, they were addressed, and were not even existent anywhere near the "preparing" of this plan. What I did not anticipate, was that they would become a permanent weapon used against me, regardless of my progress or the evidence before the court.I had no objection, because I was recovered, and had been, so a brief period of subjection to testing, with a form of suspiscion needing be prevalent, should have been a non-issue.....but here I am, 6 years later, still getting dandom tests thrown at me, randomly and maliciously....and because there was no clarification---HAIR TESTS--at that. A form of testing totally unnecessary in this scenario. And theres a pile to the ceiling, all clean, that were regarded "insufficient" or "not what he requested". And WHY? Because there was no clarification.
The consequences have gone far beyond family court. Over the past several years, I have found myself defending against repeated allegations and criminal accusations that I believe were part of an ongoing pattern of litigation and conflict. Regardless of the outcome of those cases, I have had to hire attorneys, appear in court, miss work, lose employment opportunities, spend money I could not afford, and endure the emotional strain of constantly defending myself. The financial, emotional, and professional cost has been enormous. The greatest loss, however, has been my children.
When my son was diagnosed with cancer, I struggled simply to obtain information about his treatment. I was put as a "restricted" visitor at the beginning, because the tie breaking authority.
