cont'd...
It turns out that Ann needed me in order for her…read moreto share "a couple other things" about the funeral service, burial, and after service, that she had forgotten to ask about. The "couple other things" ended up being an almost additional 30 minutes of details that Anna had forgotten about, which required signing, disclosing, and various other decisions that had to be made, and of course, other services that she could conveniently sell to us. In addition, when my sister asked about the limousine pick up at one location prior to the funeral, and to have a drop off location two blocks away at our family home, Anna informed us that this was neither customary nor possible. She immediately dissuaded us from having this done, even though we were paying handsomely for this elevated transportation service. Anna did the same when I suggested that I wanted to play a song from my daughter who could not attend the funeral service, instead suggesting another add-on for someone to provide audio services, or to simply hold my phone up to the microphone, after I had just told her about the importance of having good quality audio. Again, Anna simply disregarded our wishes and requests and advised against our explicit wishes.
Two things that should be explained again that were most distressing and disappointing, aside from the poorly presented, disorganized approach, and pressure sales tactics that were used, while we were in a fragile state of shock and mourning, had to do with the livestreaming video that we had been sold as well as the disrespect shown to us at the chapel. Firstly, when asking Anna about the video, I informed her that my daughter intended to do this by setting up a tripod in advance, so that it would function easily and automatically during the service, for our loved ones and friends that were unable to attend the funeral service. Of, course Anna strongly advised against this, as this would prevent her from charging extra for this essential service. We obliged, and ultimately agreed to permit HPM to provide and charge for this service. I asked Anna, how this would be carried out, hopefully using a proper camera, videographer, and direct audio feed from the microphone at the podium. She assured me that this was the case. I informed her at the time that good quality audio was crucial but she dismissed my concern. Instead, when arriving at the service, I observed an elderly gentleman toward the very back of the chapel that had mounted a cellphone on a stand, without any connectivity to the audio system. I confirmed with him and he stated that he was going to livestream from his cellphone and that he would try to pick up the audio from the ceiling speakers. As it turned out, the audio was of poor quality and the video, in which he never zoomed in on the people giving a eulogy or the officiant, was lacking what had been requested or required. People streaming or watching the video afterward, were unable to hear clearly, and more importantly, were unable to see facial expressions, or even who was speaking, as all that could be seen were distant unrecognizable figures in the background, behind the podium. I could not even recognize myself when watching the video back, several days later.
Most disturbing, however, was the way Anna interrupted, bossily directed, and spoke with the mourners, and their guests. Anna was again disorganized and unprepared, making last minute arrangements for essential items that should have been prearranged and preplanned, as per her title. It felt as if she had barely done this before and was disrespectful of anyone else, as her agenda and wishes took precedence over anything else. Case in point, not only did she twice interrupt the officiant when he was talking to the family in private, she also told me and my wife that she would not permit our adult daughter to sit with us during the service. Instead, despite our wishes and our daughter's wishes, which we strongly but politely expressed repeatedly, Anna insisted that our daughter sit on a bench/pew behind us with a stranger. This was most uncomfortable and awkward, not to mention inconsiderate, disrespectful of our wishes, and inappropriate. Again, the supposed expert Anna, should be aware that:
"grandchildren can sit with their parents at a Jewish funeral service, but the decision depends on the family's judgment of the grandchildren's age (in this case an adult) and maturity level, and it is not a requirement of Jewish law for children to be separated from their parents. While the focus of the service is on the primary mourners, including immediate family (children and grandchildren), extended family can certainly be included with the immediate family if they are emotionally ready for the experience. This determination is to be made by the immediate family."
This inappropriate/controlling directive, not permitting our own daughter to sit with us during the funeral, is consistent with (cont'd in next review)
