As another place was closing in Bartlesville, my customer asked me if I had been to 'the dive bar…read moredown the street.' A Dive bar? In B'ville? It was if he KNEW me!
LET'S GO!
We burst (aka stumbled) in and were greeted by the sight of maybe 10 locals hanging at the bar. Finding a couple of spots, we settled in and ordered. Stella, my old friend! It is so good to see you here tonight, you are looking better than ever! (If you want to reach beyond Stella, ask, they probably have it).
Being easily identified as out of towners, the locals slid in closer, a couple of them braving some conversation. The very essence of the perfect dive bar! I noticed that the bartender was wearing a baseball cap with a hockey logo on it and remarked that I was somewhat surprised to find a hockey fan here, much less one sporting the colors of an east coast team! And the hockey conversation began....in earnest.
Luckily, Stella had several of her sisters cooling down behind the bar, so I decided that I should be a much more gracious host and beckoned them to join in succession.
The conversations continued, patrons came and went. While I'm not one to judge other people's personal habits and leisure activities, at one point I decided it would be fun to make a very loud reference to Heisenberg. The reaction was instantaneous, the guy's eyes lit up (well, even more than they were)! He was obviously very familiar with the theory that, in quantum mechanics, the uncertainty principle is any of a variety of mathematical inequalities asserting a fundamental limit to the precision with which certain pairs of physical properties of a particle known as complementary variables, such as position x and momentum p, can be known simultaneously!
At this point, I became aware that one of the locals was loading up the jukebox with 'cry in my beer' old country songs. Who sucked the vibe out? No problem, I was packing plenty of Washingtons and promptly queued up several tunes which would CERTAINLY be a hit with the locals! Of particular interest were: Baby Got Back, Don't Believe the Hype, and Lose Yourself!
Let's take a moment and go over the James R Approved Dive Bar Checklist:
1. Reasonably priced libations in quantity. Check
2. Conversational bartenders. Check
3. Interesting and talkative locals. Check Check Check
4. Interesting and talkative locals that have a good sense of humor. Check
4. Vibe. Check
5. A clear path to the exit when I decide that the place needs LOTS of Bruno Mars, Robin Thicke, and Paula Abdul. Check
If you are in town for business, make this a stop. But PLEASE leave the suit at the hotel. Don't get all lazy and take off the tie but leave the suit coat on, we are all really cool with the fact that you were too lazy to break out the iron and tidy up the shirt underneath. Stella won't say a cross word, I promise!
Another Dive Bar Supreme! Me and MacArthur, we shall both return.
