It's taken me 6 months to feel brave enough to write this. 6 months of severe PPD, a hefty amount…read moreof birth trauma therapy, and a PTSD diagnosis later, I'm choosing to write this in the hopes that it spares someone else so much heartbreak. I desperately wish I had read the other negative reviews before choosing to use CMS. My two biggest take aways from my experience with CMS:
1. Being a certified midwife doesn't make someone a better midwife.
2. Michelle is a medi-midwife. She goes about birth the same way a hospital would.
My pregnancy was extremely healthy. Michelle said I was the epitome of health. I really liked Michelle. She was great at giving me resources and information on just about anything I had questions about. In the early part of my pregnancy, she advertised herself as being "all for the birth you want". But by the time I was in my 3rd trimester, she started back tracking on her promises. She started telling me that she prefers women not to birth in a birthing pool, even though we had been discussing that as part of my birth plan for 8 months. She said that she prefers women birth in bed (hello, I could just go to the hospital for that??). When I told her I didn't want cervical checks or to be touched while pushing, she told me that she felt those things were medically necessary and that she would probably push to perform a CC and assist during pushing.
At 34 weeks, my baby suddenly flipped frank breech. I was immediately advised to begin seeing a chiropractor for the Webster method, which I did. But when my baby still wouldn't flip, Michelle informed me that she does not deliver breech babies for first time moms. She then went on to tell me that she doesn't know any other midwife that would perform a breech birth for a first time mom (lie #1). She said that I only had a few options and would most likely have to transfer to the hospital if my baby didn't flip by 39 weeks.
We began talking about the possibilities of an ECV and a c-section. I was desperate not to have a c-section and expressed my fears to her. I had trusted her through my entire pregnancy and at the time, felt like I truly was without options. At my 37 week appointment, she told me that even if I ended up transferring to the hospital, she would still be there. She wouldn't just abandon us (lie #2). My husband was present during this appointment and also remembers her saying this. At 38 weeks, my water broke at home. I called Michelle and she told us to go to OU Children's. I assumed that she would meet us there but instead, she sent a doula that I had only met briefly, once before, earlier in my pregnancy. After a very traumatic c-section, she never bothered to check in with me. I had to text her updates. She never came to the hospital the entire 3 days we were there. When we were finally released, my baby became dehydrated due to my milk being delayed (thank you c-section). We called Michelle and described his symptoms, wondering if we should take him to the ER. She told us he was probably fine and that she would be by the next day to look him over. Two hours later, we found ourselves rushing to the emergency room with our 3 day old baby. We were told by the doctors that if we had listened to her, he most certainly would have died in the night. Again, she did not check in with us. When I finally texted her while still in the hospital, she made a comment that she had been waiting for me to update her. As if it wasn't her job to check in unprompted. We were finally released and against the advice of those closest to me, I still chose to use her for my postpartum follow up appointments. I paid a lot of money and wasn't about to let her off the hook that easy.
Since having my son, I have learned more about CMS that has truly left me questioning my own judgement. Hearing from other moms, this is their MO. They are known for this kind of behavior. Michelle is known for this. The moment your pregnancy or birth becomes inconvenient for her, she drops you.
My son being frank breech was not a medical emergency and the c-section was completely unnecessary. I now know that there are in fact other midwives in OKC that will deliver breech babies for first time moms. She must think herself the standard for midwifery care because instead of laying down her pride and transferring me to a better equipped midwife, she left me thinking I was completely without choices and a very traumatic experience that I'm nowhere close to healing from. If you're considering CMS, run far, far away.
