Un. Be. Leave-your-bowl-of-half-cooked-chips-and-run.
Ok I wasn't at THIS store. But- oh gosh someone had an accident.. hope they're ok. :(
Anyway I went to the one near Southern Cross, down the escalators from the Starbucks, next to the airport shuttle place. Yea. There.
Oooohhhhhbbh boy. Lemme tell you. I know HJ is a fast food joint, but you'd at least expect them to give you edible, high-ish quality food.
NOPE.
Let's start with me walking in. That place looks clean as heck, y'all. But that's just the facade; DO NOT BE FOOLED!!!
Awww this cute guy and his dog just walked past me. I'm in love. *wedding invites coming soon* just have to wait for all the Aussies to #VoteYAS
So. Anyway. I walk in there, looking like a drowned harassed rat, and am greeted not by Ms Employee-of-the-month at the register, but instead, by our friend: the Waitress Wannabe. Yes honey. This employee took all my money. I don't even know what's the tea!!
This gurl. *groans in agony* I greet her politely, to which she monotonously- I WOULD say reluctantly, but my charm just has this effect y'know- stares at me dead eyed in the face and says "hellowhatcanigetforyou".
She's like that meh emoji from the emoji movie. I'm so sure there's a little ... trapped happiness inside her that she's trying to subside. And albeit it extremely hard for anyone to neglect their joyous giddy feelings when I hop into their immediate vicinity, this one.... she's something else.
I order and watch as they prepare my meal. I see floors of greeeease. Blue gloves too (hey that's good!). But they touch everything, from money... to your food. And I think to myself tf am I doing here!?
I get my meal, right, open it and look upon the wonders which this probably underpaid employee has bestowed upon me, in a neat little brown paper bag.
I decide to eat the chips first. BOYYYYYY what a bad decision that was. These chips were so stale, I promise you they must've just taken yesterday's unsold batch and scooped it into a new day.
***LESSON: DO NOT BE ONE OF THE FIRST CUSTOMERS TO BUY CHIPS***
Makes you wonder what else they do, ey?
But I decided not to complain (mainly because I was so hungry I couldn't stop myself from eating one chip after the other.. my fault I guess. Plus they would've just spat in the 'new' batch anyway and served it to me).
The burger itself was alright, until you hit raw bacon. That. Let me tell you. Was the absolute cherry on this cake. And it wasn't one of those fake, sugary, sweet cherries that everyone likes. No. This was a real,
over ripe,
trampled on,
dud cherry,
that came from a farm where the only other kind of cherry picking they do is for the ephemeral bacterial accumulations in their noses so they can either eat it or fling it at one another.
Can you tell I'm livid at this point. Words are barging into my head as I think about writing this review, as though my mind found some kind of open-access neural network and I downloaded the "vocab for a scathing review" pack. It was free but there's always those annoying ads...
Next I'm gonna learn some karate. Call me Neo.
Just under $20 for the worst breakfast I've probably ever had. (Mind you, there was that one time in New Zealand hahahahahaha that's for another day)
The ONLY reason I'm giving one star is because I saw so many tradies walk up and down past this joint. And you knowwwwww your boy loves a bearded tradie. HOOO honey they just take my breath away.
Moral of the story? The burgers might be better at HJ (as long as you don't get bacon), but the cleanliness, service, quality of food, and value for money sure as heck ain't.
Go to grill'd. Or Starbucks. Just- anywhere but here. read more