The good: the restaurant downstairs and the lobby bar are both absolutely great. That's really the cause for my four stars; the service and the food were both top-notch and it reminded me of some of the better old hotels I stayed in when traveling in Europe.
The bad: the beds are old, the wood floors are VERY creaky and I didn't sleep much or well because of that, anyone walks around in the room to either side of you and it's Hammer Horror level sound-effect creeeeaaaaak creeaeaaaaaeeek, the linens are really just OK but I wouldn't call them luxurious by any stretch, the decor in my room was an eyesore (amateur art at the level of "talented high schooler"), the whole hotel reeks of Zum soaps (a heavily oiled soap that make Lush soaps seem downright sophisticated by comparison - they're widely available in grocery stores so I'm not sure why the hotel makes such a big deal out of them, I'd much rather have had a regular shower gel that wouldn't leave me reeking of essential oils, I had to skip my perfume that day because it would have clashed badly with the soap fragrance). The shower had no curtain and the "rain shower" head was mounted at least three feet above me, so it was a long and shivering experience to shampoo and rinse. I imagine the water started out warm but by the time it reached me it sure wasn't. Hot water out of the shower is a non-starter, it had one of those self-heater things instead of coming from a water boiler. Tepid is about as good as you're going to get, and the hotter you try to get it, the lower the flow, which is already pretty sparse in a "rain shower" format. That's the room in a nutshell.
Staff wise, there was a guy who was pretty good - a normal, pleasant, professional, competent, unobtrusive, helpful person. And then there was... Something out of a David Lynch movie. A heavily tattooed obese woman also worked at the front desk, only smiled when the guy was in the vicinity, scowled at everyone else like they were shit on her shoe, while wearing trashy low-cut outfits to show off her chest tattoo (which said "kiss me and you'll know why I'm so important" which made me feel like throwing up in my mouth because 1) omg seriously and 2) her face looked like a punched-in ball of bread dough that got a drag queen makeover by Mac and 3) each time my eyes involuntarily scanned the jussive "kiss me" on her massive prow the concept just made me feel ill). Despite the fact that she looked like a trailer park manager (at best) who feels superior to the lesser rednecks in her domain, she was super duper snotty and condescending and looked down her nose at guests while carrying on in some kind of superior lady of the manor routine - I suppose she thinks that's how fancy people behave. It was kind of fascinating to watch, though it's the antithesis of how the front desk at actual hotels behave. Much less luxury hotels, which would no more permit that sort of behavior from the front desk than slap incoming guests in the face with a fish. I knew when I saw her that the website of the hotel had likely put a polish on the hotel that wasn't going to be present in real life. I don't expect staff to be obsequious, but at least professional and neutral rather than "weirdly snobby redneck dressed like a hooker" would be great if you're going to charge upwards of $150 a night.
I hate to focus so much on that chick but it was super weird and each time I had to interact with her coming or going it felt surreal because she was just so inexplicably unpleasant and hard on the eyes.
I did kind of wish I'd just stayed anywhere else due to the noisy floors, not particularly comfortable room, and the hit I took to my mood every time I had to interact with the desk, but then I wouldn't have had the absolutely amazing dinner in the hotel restaurant. I had the seafood pasta and it was perfectly cooked and seasoned. The salad preceding it was amazing. The slice of cake for dessert was light and airy and rich at the same time. The service was top-notch; unobtrustive but attentive, friendly but not forced, and composed. It was a wonderful meal. I'd say that the restaurant is well-worth a drive in to Boonsville from Columbia, particularly since the drive via the countryside is very pretty. There are probably better options for lodging.
I'd love to see the hotel thrive so the restaurant can survive - not ALL of the rooms have the terrible shower that mine did. Some of them probably have newer beds that aren't saggy and crunchy at the same time. You can bring your own toiletries if you'd rather not be heavily Zum'd. If you're a heavy sleeper who isn't easily awoken you'll be fine. And maybe you won't have to deal with the lemonpuss human billboard to her own inexplicable vanity at the front desk. read more