After pushing aside hoards of drunk tourists to reach the door of this hostel, the following will probably happen:
1) You will press a buzzer and someone up a flight of stairs will, sighing, open the door for you.
2) As you approach the front desk, the staff will treat you with the same attitude you bring to a fist fight. I wouldn't recommend punching them right away, but I honestly couldn't blame anyone.
3) You will pay for your stay in cash--up front --and will understand why once you climb more flights of obnoxiously steep stairs to set down your things in your room. You will lay down on beds I honestly believe they scavenge from prison dumpsters.
4) After bearing the night listening to pounding club music from the tourist magnets downstairs, a group of drunk American teenagers will vomit outside your room and, unable to gain entry into their (read: your) room even after pounding on the door, one of the teens will slip in his own vomit and loudly proclaim his decision to piss on the floor.
5) Two drunk girls will enter and browse their phones on full brightness for about 30 minutes, making the room already shaking with terrible club music even more uncomfortable. One girl will drop something and argue with the other one for about 5 minutes about who should retrieve it. Once one caves and gets down on her knees on the floor, the other will whisper "he's looking at you", referring to you, awoken by their idiocy and deciding to check a few emails.
6) Around 10am in the morning a member of the gestapo police will open the door, letting in the stench of vomit and urine from 8 hours ago. He will wake you up if necessary and demand your name. He will then tell you your name is wrong, and retract his statement 10 seconds later saying "ok ok", and then again demand your horribly misspelled name is wrong, all before admitting he doesn't speak English.
7) You will again question why you ever agreed to pay cash up front.
All this is true and shockingly without exaggeration. It's a shame rating this place requires granting it one star. If you're desperate for cheap accommodations, I would recommend committing a petty crime and spending a few days in prison instead. read more