Really, wtf?
I chose this hotel because A) I'm a card-holder and I wanted more points, B) The website boasts a free airport shuttle service and I had an early flight so a hotel near the airport with a free lift looked ideal, C) when in areas where I need people to speak my language I go for international hotel chains.
Check in: Though close to a train stop, the entrance isn't really visible from where you exit. Once inside you have to go down to piano -2 for reservations. Street level only has the bar and restaurant.
....
We got in around 1730 and were getting hungry. The bar was the only thing open until 1930 because Italy is a frustrating, baffling land where no one is allowed to eat when they're hungry. We raided the drinks in the mini fridge while we waited. My cranky toddler fell asleep, and as the dinner hour opened up I pulled out the English room service menu. On the "menu bimbi" there is a selection called Penne Batman. I called to order and the woman who answered didn't speak English. "Room Serivce?" "jdjkldjldslhsghlsgh" "Inglese?" "sdfgdshls no inglese." "Penne Batman." "BATMAN?" "Si, Batman." "BATMAN?!" *click* ..................... The only thing I can think is it's like, Penne Peppa on the Italian menu? I called the front desk and they said yes, the kitchen staff speaks English, but try ordering at the bar instead. The bar said to call the kitchen and hung up. I did this a couple more times. My husband tried to clear it up and have the front desk clerk put in the order, but he told my husband to return to the room and call the front desk and he would put him through to the kitchen. He gave up.
I was getting hangry. My child needed dinner, and after a long day of nothing going right the last thing I wanted to do was wake her up to go to the restaurant or further navigate Napoli's crowded, pick pocket ridden transportation system. A quick bite in the room was doable, or at least supposed to be.
I took the menu down to the bar. "English?"
"Yes, a little." (Fluent)
"I want to order from this menu, can you please help me?"
"No, this is for room service. Why don't you go to the restaurant?" He said while trying to walk away.
"They won't help me. No one will help me. They won't speak in English, and the front desk said you could help and I'm really hungry and *female tears begin to well*..."
"Okay, I will help." He finally said with a sigh, now at damn near 2100.
He wrote everything down, took the menu away from me because I'm clearly a moron, and a half an hour later I ate the best fucking double veggie burger on earth and my poor child was finally fed.
....
Night 2 we ate at the restaurant. If we were staying closer to downtown we wouldn't have. If you do the full buffet, it is 28 euro per person, but children are free. It's very meat and fish heavy dining but the fruit and salad and desserts were very nice. Just very pricey. They even make you sign a waiver saying yes you agree to be robbed for the full amount and have it charged to your room.
....
The shuttle. Arrgh. I called in the evening before we left to see if I needed to reserve a spot when I heard the bad news. The shuttle leaves at 900, much later than when we had to leave, but they can call a cab. Fuck, no. Nononononono. Crap. Taking the train means going to Garabaldi, then walking into the madness of creative drivers and hoping against hope we get onto the bus for the airport and make our flight. So, we took the cab. 20 euros later...
In all, never again. read more