All the buses on my latest trip were nice, new, clean, and with (slow) wifi when I first boarded. 1 star for that. Boston to NY is reasonably safe, but outside the northeast all bets are OFF.
I've logged 5000+ miles on Greyhound in my lifetime so I know that my latest experiences aren't that exceptional. The fact is, the clientel this low cost carrier attracts will probably lead to a lot of... colorful experiences. Don't even think about ridin' the hound long-distance if you aren't a SURVIVOR.
You will definitely meet homeless people, ex-cons, drug users, the mentally ill, welfare recipients, screaming kids (with the welfare recipients), illegal aliens, black people with racial hostility, fat/stinky people, passive aggressive greyhound employees, and those who cannot control their bowels. But I also met some cool people along the way.
PROTIP: If you are a clean-cut person lacking the funds for a more expedient mode of travel, consider hitch-hiking. Even in this day and age, people WILL pick you up if you don't look stinky/homeless/deranged. Seriously. You can turn down rides from anybody who gives you a bad vibe and you'll probably get there sooner than taking Greyhound long-distance. Oh, and it's free.
HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY RECENT 1800 MILE GREYHOUND JOURNEY:
--I was nearly smothered by the morbidly obese man spilling into half of my seat from Boston to NYC. He snored for the entire 4 hours, but at least he didn't stink.
--A crazy man with three visible teeth threatened to stab me in the NYC terminal just for being a "white nigger" who didn't drop any money in his cup when I passed by. I'm pretty sure he was homeless and not a traveler, though, as he had no visible baggage.
--The soured-milk smell of the person who was my New York-to-Virginia seatmate made me want to vomit, but at least she was quiet (unlike the drug and alcohol party happening in the back of the bus from 12-4AM.)
--Had to sit on the side of the road in North Carolina for 2 hours without AC after the driver used up his legally allotted driving time sitting in New York City traffic.
--Nearly had my laptop stolen; caught a mexican man poking through my bag when I returned from a quick pee.
--A screaming baby for 600 miles.
--4 just-released convicts were put on the bus by penitentiary officers. They looked tough, but ended up being relatively normal compared to other people on the bus.
--The poor old gentleman who had a shitsplosion in his pants somewhere around Savannah GA. There was brown liquid leaking from his pant leg as he walked to the back of the bus for a 45-minute sit in the rear coach bathroom. The powerful sewage smell lingered for the next 300 miles.
--The Florida to Orlando driver literally LEFT 8 people behind when they didn't return to the bus in the allotted 10 minutes. One guy was running after us as we pulled away, but the driver wouldn't stop because we were already behind schedule. Its unclear to me how they would ever retrieve their unlabeled carry-on bags that kept travelling without them.
--I rolled into my final destination exactly 18 hours late, and I didn't even have any problems with overbooking.
LESSONS FOR THOSE WHO, DUE TO FINANCES, HAVE NO OTHER TRAVEL OPTIONS:
--Always label everything.
--Bring as much FOOD as you can carry because you won't have much time or choice along the way. 15 minutes might be long enough to get through the line at KFC, but if it's not the driver might leave your ass behind.
--Bring lots of small bills for vending machines.
-- Bring a pillow or sleeping bag/puffy jacket. Your back will thank you.
--Always keep your valuables with you, no matter how short you will be away. ESPECIALLY your ticket. Greyhound will not reissue your lost tickets under any circumstances.
--Try to find somebody you like and choose to sit together rather than hoping for a row to yourself. If you take your chances to try to get a row to yourself there's a very good chance you'll end up sitting with somebody smelly, fat, scary, or offensive. Or all of these. read more