So this is one of those reviews you write that you hope will channel all your righteous indignation and bring the change/justice that will soothe your soul.
I know like 3 people will see this, and the employees will probably just share it at their offices like THIS CRAZY GIRL but guys, I need to just share my experience.
I scheduled a pickup to be done today. It was three boxes of books, one home décor item, and a suitcase. I labeled all the donations and put them outside on my porch AT THE FREAKING CRACK OF DAWN SINCE IT WAS APPARENTLY EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO HAVE MY DONATIONS READY BY 6 AM. (Not that I'm bitter.)
I felt so free and happy coming home - knowing that I had donated some good into the universe and (selfishly) my home was free of clutter.
...and then I saw it. All my donations - sitting exactly where I left them, hauling boxes in my dress clothes at six in the morning.
"Huh," I thought. "That's weird. Maybe they are running late?"
I got inside and called their number and someone picked up right away. I asked if they could check on the status of a pickup, and she knew right away who I was. I was secretly delighted - what customer service! Wow! They knew exactly who I was and they were about to explain exactly what happened.
Then, she continued. "Yeah, we tried to call you. There was an issue with pickup."
While she was on speaker, I checked my missed calls for today. Zero missed calls or voicemails from unknown numbers (other than my best friends, the robo callers who are insisting I owe the IRS money and the only way I will stay out of jail is if I send them $83 in iTunes gift cards). I asked if she could tell when he called, and she said "I don't know - he called you a lot of times."
...okay. So maybe my phone didn't register them? That's a possibility! I asked her why he was unable to pick up my donations.
"There was a bee hive. A nest."
I thought I might have misheard her, so I repeated her words. "Wait - bees? He saw a bee hive so he wouldn't pick up my donations?"
"Yeah. He tried calling you."
So...I've lived in this house for nine years. Children play in my front yard all the time. ...there are no bee hives in my front yard or on my porch.
I asked if maybe he'd been mistaken - I was pretty familiar with my house (since, you know, I live here) - and there were no bee hives on my front porch.
Then she started acting like she couldn't hear me.
"I'm right here!" I answered - I'd been standing in the same spot the entire call (on the porch, looking at my stack of donations and swatting invisible, imaginary bees).
"Ma'am? Ma'am? Hello? Hellooooooo-" and then she hung up on me.
Yes, she'd perfected the art of the "hey, my phone is breaking up *pretends to make static noises* I have to call you *more pretend static noises*" and hung up on me.
Well, she had my cell phone number. I'm sure she'd call right back.
Nope.
Okay, well, I could call her back. After all, she'd known exactly who I was by using my cell phone number.
I was placed on hold... and then sent to voicemail. Weird. I called back a few more times, and every time, I was sent directly to voicemail.
So, American Red Cross, I tried. Obviously, I'll keep trying, but it won't be through Green Drop.
In the meantime, if anyone knows any invisible exterminators, let me know! read more