Sexy Cat. Sexy Cat. Zombie. Pirate. Sexy Baby. Sexy Cat. Wilfred. Something that wears fishnets, booty shorts and wings. Sexy Zombie. Sexy Mario & Sexy Luigi. Football Player. Cheerleader. Sexy Smurf. Sexy Cat. Sexy Catwoman. Raver. Sexy Race Car Driver. Sexy Ninja Turtle. Sexy Cop. Sexy Cowgirl. Sexy Nerd. Sexy Ref. Rainbow Brite. Sexy Bee. Sexy Flapper. Honey Boo Boo. Fishnet Cupcake. Gangnam Style. French Maid. Wonder Woman. Zombie. Sexy Slut. Sexy Cat. Sexy Harry Potter. Sexy Sex Worker. Sexy Cat.
STEP UP YOUR GAME, FREAKFEST-ERS.
This was my first ever time attending the legendary Freakfest of Madison, and maybe it used to be a lot better, or maybe I was just too far past the prime Freakfest 21-23 age range, but frankly, it seemed pretty sad.
Expectations: I was ready to see some really rad and well thought out costumes.
Reality: Sexy this and sexy that and people wearing the jersey of their favorite football player with jeans and those black reflective make-up lines under their eyes. Might as well have been a convention for fishnets and cat ears. #LAME. Where was all the creativity and imagination?
Expectations: Streets closed down and party till the break of dawn with music, drinking, community, etc.
Reality: Streets blocked off, people pushing falling over in the streets by 11:30, grab ass by strangers, 20-minute wait to get into an already packed bar where you'll wait another 20-minutes attempting to be shoved to the bar to get a drink while little b*tches push their way through the crowd yelling 'I have tits; I get drinks first.'
Expectations: Headliners in the past were Third Eye Blind, OkGo, O.A.R. Cage the Elephant, Neon Trees.
Reality: Headliner this year was some 19-year old, no-name burnout who "raps" about Donald Trump.
At one point, a 21-year old tried to steal my Bill Murray mask (I was Steve Zissou) and I had to freak out just a tad more than what a normal person would consider a complete and total meltdown. He then tried to atone for it by making conversation and admitting that he had no idea who I was and he had never heard of Bill Murray before. Uhm... what?! You're dead to me. I was a festival where 80% of the people there had no idea who Bill Murray was, and 100% knew who the lead character from a Nick Jr show geared toward pre-schoolers was. 'Nuff said.
At another point I saw a young chap wearing an afro wig and some sort of bear body suit. He said he was an Ewok, but in the face he was a dead ringer for Horschak from 'Welcome Back, Kotter' and the kid replied, 'Who?' I ended up google searching the image (which was dead-on) on my phone and then he said, "Ohhh! Yeah, another lady at this very same bar told me the exact same thing. She was like 70 years old, though." Sooo that was awesome, and gave a pretty scary accurate look into how an age-grouped demographic of Freakfest would look had it been divided- You're either 18-26, or you're 27 to 100 and old enough to know better.
One last gem of the eve was when my date and I were ordering some drinks from the bar, and were elated to see a pretty decent selection of about a dozen or so craft beers. A young lad came up behind us and asked us to put a word in for his beer, a Bud Light bottle, as it was extremely difficult to hold on to any bartenders attention. I would've cringed at the libation request but I've been a broke college student before and maybe he was already at the point of the night where it doesn't what you drink because it all tastes the same anyway. So our beers from a local craft brewery come out and the dude starts attempting to make fun of us for ordering draft, at which point I start talking out my neck and waiving my sassy finger about how we put our reputations on the line to order him his sh*tty bottle of booze, so he should at least attempt to show a tender bit of gratitude. At that point he started back-tracking that he didn't know the bar had good beer (their selection is literally written on the walls surrounding the bar) and I just passed him his bottle and told him to enjoy his well water.
For myself, I'd be fine giving out 2-stars and never again paying $8 to walk around a bunch of drunk kids and stand in lines at bars that would otherwise have no wait, but I feel like that's kind of cheating Freakfest given that I am clearly not the target market. I mean, you wouldn't go into a steakhouse and b*tch about how there weren't any vegetarian options, right? So I'll give out a 3-star and note that if you're 30+ years old and NOT trying to sell your stash to a bunch of kids, this might not be the place for you. read more