The profession of love makes one vulnerable, and requires the wherewithal to fulfill the commitment.
Such was my predicament on that fateful day, many years ago when I first professed my love towards my beloved.
It was in the El Tovar hotel, where this young man was about to make a lifelong commitment. I still remember pacing up and down these narrow hallways, as I waited for her to get ready for our dinner date. We were guests at this hotel, and I surmised that the hotel, and the beauty of the Grand Canyon would make a great backdrop for what I was about to affirm. The door opened, and what I beheld was breathtaking!
The setting sun glimmered through the window behind her as she stood in the doorway. There were no words to describe how beautiful she was and how awestruck I was! She wore an aquamarine colored sheath dress, with black trimming on both the edges and the buttons. I gladly, and proudly, escorted her to the El Tovar Dining room, where we sat by the window that gave us a great view of the canyon.
It was on that impactful day that I made a promise and commitment to her that I would love her for as long as I lived. It may sound corny to the casual observer, but the vulnerability I felt at that moment, and cost of my pledge that was simply immeasurable. After dinner, we made our way to El Tovar Lounge; not to drink as I was underage at the time, but to borrow a portable piano that one of the guests had brought. I wanted to express myself and regale her with love songs from different eras, as everyone else just spectated and marveled.
One of the songs that I sang was "You're looking like love to me!"
Some of the verses went like this:
Do I expect too much And move too fast
Do I expect so much So soon to last, forever
I'm gonna toss All caution to the wind
And let my deep down Feelings overflow
I bet my life on us Tonight, I tell you, trust in me
You're looking like love to me
I'd like to say that after all of the preparation and my heartfelt expressions that her response would be in the form of a simple word - Yes!
However, such was not the case. She was scared. This was an emotion that was unknown to her, and someone like me was a fictional character torn from some fantasy novel meant to give women false hope. From her experience, after all the abandonment and emptiness she had experienced in her life, this was just another ruse because the gods are not that kind! We left home for Phoenix the next day. The ride home was quieter, and the silence was uncomfortable. The next few months would prove to be the beginning of heartache for me, and an even further downward spiral for her. Until she could go no further, and our friendship came to that pivotal fork on the road. She reached out to me one last time, and I promised her that if she gave me her heart and took my hand, that I would treasure both and never let go for the rest of my mortal life.
After all these years of marriage, and 4 children later - I've never failed in my promise. I have never given up. I have never faltered. And she can be as vulnerable as she wants to with me, and can rest assured that her heart will never, ever be torn again. I may never some famous person that I aspired to be. Nor one of the wealthiest.
But to her, in her eyes, I will be the one and only person that has never failed her. And I'm good with that. And just like our story, this hotel may be rough on the edges, and we may have higher expectations than the facilities and circumstances provide; however, it makes a perfect backdrop to an amazing life - and in most people's cases, a wonderful vacation.
It's merely an accoutrement to an otherwise wonderful experience, and the beauty of the surroundings is what brings people from all over the world to this place. I hope that you enjoy the experience and scenery as we did, even after all these years.
As we were leaving the premises, I glanced towards her direction and could not help but exclaim, "Still Beautiful after all these years!"
And she remarked, "I know, the Grand Canyon is still so gorgeous."
And I replied, "I wasn't talking about the Grand Canyon...." read more