The Scottish mentality is regulated by only a few rules on moral decency.
Rule No.1) Don't get too big for your boots.
Rule No.2) Don't blow your own trumpet.
Rule No.3) If you do get too big for your boots or blow your own trumpet, no doubt about it, we will remind you exactly where you came from.
Sad isn't it? Take a look a Billy Connolly. Born in one of the most poverty stricken areas of the country, left school at 15 to work as a welder on the shipyards, started as a folk singer Glasgow pubs, ended up the biggest comedian in the world due to his incredible talent and way with words.
But are us Scots proud of him? Of course not. Instead we spit fury that he has "forgotten his roots" by choosing to live in Hollywood and star in movie blockbusters with upper class English luvvies such as Judi Dench.
We want him to be ashamed of his success, pretend he is not a millionaire and move back to his old tenement in Partick. Please!
The point I am trying to make here is that us Scots are hopeless at selling ourselves. I visited Glasgow's Doulton Fountain for the first time ever only a few months which is shameful considering I have lived in the city for all but 18 months of the 25 years I have lived.
But I hadn't really heard much about the fountain before. Unlike the City Chambers or Glasgow University, it's not one of the landmarks that spring to mind when you think about where to take a visitor to the city.
An absolute disgrace. Because the Doulton fountain is one of the most stunning sculptures I have ever seen.
Designed to commemorate Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee of 1887 and celebrate Britain's Imperial achievements, each side of the fountain represents the former colonies of Australia, Canada, India and South Africa.
The largest terracotta fountain in the world and the best surviving example of its kind, it has five tiers, is 46 feet high and 70 feet across the base - the third of the width of a football pitch.
If the Doulton Fountain was in any other country in the world it would be surrounded by tourists all year round.
But it is in Scotland. And, as you know, we don't like to brag. read more