What a concept. Depending on where your viewpoint is on all things Vietnamese, it's either A) a hilarious misinterpretation of the Vietnamese language (#1) B) a comical attempt at Vietnamese cuisine. Or perhaps it's C) both. But then again, if you're expecting anything remotely authentic, perhaps the joke is on you.
It's 100% clear, they're trying to be different. This whole concept is cringey, as no decent Viet person would attempt to rock a business like this. I picture a group of gringos, lead by Mr. Trump, mocking and pushing terrible, predictable Asian jokes to get a few smiles from a sober, uninterested crowd. Sadly, it seems the owner and the operation are all Asian. Looks like the joke is on all of us, them included.
When CBM first opened close to two years ago, their menu was littered with all terrible attempts at hilarity by poking fun at Asian accents by phonetically spelling them out for each section:
"Hory Clap!" - Banh Mi!
"Hory Sheet!" - Com Ga!
"Sucky Sucky!" - Drinks
"Side Jobs, everything forty dorrah" - Appetizers & Sides
To top it all off, a super combo banh mi was called "Gang Banh Mi - All The Way." There was a theme going here and it's clear it wasn't pretty. And somehow I ended up ordering it, with Iberico ham no less because it was what made them different and because I *love* Iberico ham. Sadly, it turned out to be a overstuffed faux-ham sandwich on decent bread. I thought it would be my last encounter with the place.
Then a friend got me to come back because we were in Wanchai craving something other than Chino fare. The good news was they had done away the old menu's cheesy clichés (if not completely racist undertones) and set forth a more standard menu with direct names for each section (#2), which with the whole step 1-4 process, seemed like a fast casual joint.
My group and I chose virtually the entire menu. We got an order of their infamous com ga with pork belly, a banh mi with chicken and duck, and naturally, beef with our pho. We even loaded up on the sides with fried spring rolls, papaya salad, and because it's so Vietnamese - garlic butter wings and chicken fat potato wedges. To top it off, we got milk shakes of avocado and coconut as well as we durian, and a caramel milk viet coffee.
In another lifetime, I probably would've given an extra star for the name, but for this experience I'm giving an extra star because of the food. It wasn't as bad as some other Vietnamese (#3) places in HK but completely unpolished as far as execution is concerned. First off, the "caramelized" pork belly was dry and bland over the rice, which we thought was just a mistake on our part for ordering it with rice. Putting this in a banh mi would not have helped anyway.
The banh mi itself again had decent bread and the pate and veggies were plentiful. I won't lie and say I've had chicken and duck in a banh mi simultaneously, but it somehow was the one thing that worked. It was a little lacking without more condiments but I was expecting far worse.
The pho was an absolute abomination. The "chicken and duck broth" was salty and the noodles were super chewy. This was something like mi quang with some leftover whack broth. I would never want to try a bowl of pho in a place that specializes in sandwiches and rice, but I knew we were destined for failure anyway.
Fried spring rolls were crispy, but not savory. The nuoc mam that accompanied it was less fishy and more sweet if anything. Certainly the "aromatic" portion was not to be found, which also explains the sad papaya salad. The garlic butter wings were both small and unremarkable, which for $40HKD seems like a complete rip off.
The shakes were a plus. it washed the taste of mediocrity out of our mouths but the caramel viet coffee was like the pho broth - abomination part 2. I was sad because ca phe sua da (Viet iced coffee) was the only thing I was looking forward to enjoying. The customer service seemed indifferent when I told them my findings, but they seemed happy to collect our money.
Given the nature of my experiences, I feel generous in given them two stars. There is a lot to be improved and I can only hope things go up from here.
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(#1) If done in gringo-speak: "Come BANG me by Chef F*** dat B****"
(#2) Or in their eyes, a "boring menu."
(#3) Believe me, there are more than I can count. read more