i remember when i first saw the cupcake cafe i was curious as i stalked by curious and terrified at the same time oh the fear, the fear the sugar addict in me was screaming do it !!! do it!!! eat them out of house and home!!! eat all that wickedly delightful sugar til you pop!!! i tried to resist nooooo, once i let the beast out then god knows what the monster might become!!! and then i found myself, like in a dream, munching down on my first cupcake!!! what was i doing??? for the love of all things holy, nooooo i was out of control and pounding down that awesome sweetness like a junky in a junk yard!!! however i quickly discovered upon the 2059 cupcake that i had infact died sugar poisoning but the ungodly sugar feind of my soul continued scoffing down the cakes, brownies and mountain dew by the gallon!!! it was dooms day and i was the satan of sugar!!! i soon ate even the owners of the cafe, when what looked like someone dressed as the ghost-busters lept out from behind the counter and yelled your time is up slime ball, youre no marshmellow man, but you still make me sick!!! he then opened fire i was not afraid, i was a burnig ball of supernatural sugarery madness!!! no human could stop my demon quest to eat the world right in two like a great big wod of cookie doe but instead of some nuclear powerd energy-beam blasting forth from his gun like device instead a condensed mix of whipped cream, cupcake icing and all-things-nice struck me down with the power of the dark-side!!! i screamed like a pig in heat!!! lashing about in demented hysteria, i was forced agaisnt my infernal will to swallow all that that weapon of massive-tongue-smashing-destruction could muster!!! at first i liked it then i loved it then i was a bit sleepy then i really loved it then i was a wee confused then i giggled a little then i was worried then i was screaming like a headless chicken, even though headless chickens cant scream as they dont have a head to scream with and then like a bolt of lightning out my ass the entire universe ripped itself a new nipple and i was born again born again as a very small plast baby dear i now live happly in this new universe in the display case at the cupcake cafe i think this my hell i smell the creamy goodness day long, but i cant move, im plastic so it makes you ask the question if im made of plastic, how the hell can i still smell those dreamy cupcakes of chaos??? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so to define the cafe cupcake: it's so good, its evil!!!
bruce. read more