Hello Darlings,
It's…read morebeen eleven years since Your Host's previous screed about this amusement *resort*, and it's time for an update! Our Disney companion / friend joined in for a day of amusement park fun enjoying the rides (and park grub!) on a Saturday during Fall despite the crowds (and lines). Knoebel's line-up of attractions since Your Host's 2015 review is largely unchanged, although a number of rides have been added. Let's now sit back with a favorite bev, and we'll get into this most recent experience.
For starters, the park's crowds were large, and every single, solitary attraction had long wait times of at least 30 minutes, which leads to the idea that weekends are busy, busy, busy. And unlike Six Flags, there are no Fast Lanes, nor are there single rider lines. Everyone waits the wait...equally. If you're not the patient type, a weekday visit might be more your speed. Some rides manage the throughput well, while others not so much. Generally speaking, pack your patience on weekend visits.
Food quality and value: like many businesses, Knoebel's hasn't escaped inflation. The quality is still there, and I believe in my heart of hearts that the resort tries to mitigate the price increases. The sausage sandwiches at the round food stand are still every bit as good as before but they saw an increase of over $3.00. Be prepared to see this but realize that what you get at Knoebel's is STILL a better value than a corporate-run theme park.
As is the custom with amusement park reviews, here are the rides that we experienced...
Paratrooper: this was a walk-on but it was when the rides first opened at 2pm. The ride cycle was lengthy but fortunately didn't require downtime for Your Host to reclaim his center.
Black Diamond: this is a spooky indoor dark ride that might scare the littles. It's kind of lengthy, and features drops and lifts. This ride had a long line but the operations were fairly efficient. This is a popular attraction, so take heed.
Phoenix: it should be noted darlings that this coaster, along with the two others, are quite popular. While this had a long line, we got through it in about 20 minutes. The ride itself didn't seem as smooth as usual but was enjoyable nonetheless.
Twister: darlings, bring Excedrin if you plan to ride this one cuz it is a rough experience. Definitely not Your Host's favorite.
Tea Cups: this is one of those classics from another era (aka 1972) when Your Host was a little 'un. You don't control the spinning yourself, but rather where in the cup you and another are sitting will have you goin' around in circles, just like Billy Preston.
Scenic Skyway: this had a long line and a wait that felt like an eternity. The ride is scenic and relaxing, but try to keep any thoughts of worst-case scenarios at bay.
Impulse: the wait wasn't bad. This compact multi looping coaster is pretty darn exciting, babies. We ended our day with this one. The ride itself is pretty smooth. You ascend the phallic-shaped lift hill and the immediate drop straight on down comes as suddenly as unwelcome visitors appearing unannounced on your front door stoop. There are five inversions on the course (best experienced hands-free or up-in-the-air) before the return to the station.
That about wraps it up, darlings. Your Host continues to recommend this spot for the best classic rides and coasters. And gurl, if you're planning to ride Twister, pack the aspirin!
Peace, love, and rides,
Your Host