Reposted after someone felt this review was too gay...
Well it's now public knowledge that after these seven years of being an absolutely nobody but an Elite Yelper, I'm full on OUT and PROUD to have reached 1,000 total Yelp reviews!! Hooray!
That's a good enough reason to have another coming out party! Well I have decided that it'll just have to wait until the Chicago Pride Parade, because we all know that there is no party like Pride. With the summer kicking in and the heat picking up, I felt like my 1,000th review should be a damn good one, from a long-winded, chatty gay boy.
Chicago is one of the most queer and gay-friendly cities in the US of A. Heck, it's clearly the brightest winner among the entire Midwest. Gays escape from below the Mason-Dixon Line in the South, West of the Mississippi River, North of US-94 at Madison, and East of Lake Michigan's shores to come to Chicago. Who can say they have a GAYborhood like Boystown, or heck, even a collar of gay-friendly neighborhoods taking over the north-side of the city including Lakeview, Uptown, Andersonville, and slowly Rogers Park. We're slowly taking over...
Yet, although gays are present all year round, they seem to somewhat hibernate in the winter, and bloom like daisies on that first 70 degree day of Spring to come out to play. Still, nothing, and I mean NOTHING is like that one day of the year in Chicago: Pride! All the colors and their values of the rainbow flag are exposed and fully represented: Pink = Sexuality, Red = Life; Orange = Healing (from a tough history and future of the AIDS epidemic and GLBT rights); Yellow = Sun (more sun than you can believe); Green = Nature (including hippies and fairies); Blue = Art; Indigo = Harmony; Violet = Spirit (Amen!). I must mention that clothes come off; speedos, leather, and undies come out; sparkly body oil is rubbed on, hard; sparkles and bedazzling up the wazoo appears; alcohol is sneaked in (who would have known this was once a dry city with now more bars per capita than any other city in the world?!); and all races, cultures, genders, and sexualities put their differences aside and unite as one out of love.
Just as Honey Boo Boo says, "Everyone's got a little gay in them!" Yes, we love to categorize, it's in our nature as humans, yet everyone fits in!
With this said, you'll be quick to realize that every gay possible will pop out of the woodwork: queer / gay / lesbian / trans-folk / top / bottom / power-bottom / versatile / twink / bear / cub / pup / otter / wolves / bull / circuit boy / chaser / frat boy / sandwich / gym rat / gym bunny / dyke / lipstick / fairy / hippy / leather daddy / furry / hankies / watersportsman / chub / nelly / androgynous folk / asexuals / log-cabin republican gays / hasbian / yestergay / fruit fly / fag hag / fag stag / advocates... There's some gay lingo and labels to learn before you go.
Since kicking off in the historic year of 1969, over 200 different organizations show their pride: GLBTQ organizations and foundations, restaurants, beer and merchandise companies, universities, news and radio stations, cultural, sports, hobby, dance, cheerleading, political, and music groups, gay/straight/ally crews, bars and bathhouses, and Yelp (of course)!
A few tips for the newbies:
-It always happens on the last Sunday in June.
-Take public transportation (but avoid the Belmont stop chaos).
-The more color, the better. No matter what, you'll always be topped *no pun intended*.
-Get loaded with sunscreen, no matter what anyone says. It kicks off at Noon, the hottest and brightest hours and one of the hottest months of the year!
-Be thoughtful about where you stick stickers on your body (tan lines people!).
-Drink plenty of fluids. And I mean water, not alcohol (at least to start).
-Eat before your festivities or you may show up a fool in magazines and on news channels across the city (unless that's your goal...).
-Take off the following day from work because you may be hoarse.
-Go early to scope out your spot and guard it with your life. When traveling, go with the flow. Check out the parade route ahead of time and know where you can cross the street to avoid congestion. Half a million people show up each year so be smart!
-It is kid-friendly, but NOT baby or dog-friendly (too much foot traffic for that). Heck, kids see worse stuff on TV and the Internet. I just recommend escaping from the area after the parade is over since it's a complete drunk fest. There is nothing quite as humbling as seeing a kid wearing an HRC shirt being pushed in a stroller by gay parents waving a rainbow flag.
While the parade will always remain controversial since the Stonewall Riots, it is one day to not be missed and one day I truly feel proud to be a Chicagoan! Now kick back, relax, kiss a couple random folks and take it all in because we are making "Her-story" (as said by RuPaul)! End. read more