I have four children... 15, 6, 2 and 4 days, all boys!
My…read morefirst two were delivered by the doctor who delivered ME. He was a very old-school, play it safe kind of doctor. In hindsight, knowing what I know now, I would have told my 17 year old self to say NO when he insisted on a c-section delivery. He wouldn't even talk about a VBAC with #2.
Fast forward to #3... original doctor retired and, after a TON of research, hubby found me the best local NOVA doctor group - the one all the doctors and nurses go to for their own babies, Fair Ridge Ob/Gyn Associates.
At 20w it was discovered that our third son would be born with bilateral clubfoot and they found many other concerns - as such, they had me closely monitored by maternal fetal specialists who would work in tandem with them. Every two weeks we had a detailed scan to monitor baby's progress. The whole time my plan was a VBAC. Dr Hodges stressed he would work with me as long as: 1. I went into labor on my own (no induction) and 2. Baby came before 39.5 weeks (risk of uterine rupture with two prior c-sections.
At 39w, 4d I walked into my scheduled c-section SO UPSET. I'm deathly allergic to all narcotics (ANY codeine products which includes everything from Tylenol-3 to morphine) I am literally limited to OTC Motrin and Tylenol). So, c-sections for me are EXTRA brutal.
Turns out, I had placenta accreta, a condition where the placenta grows through the uterus and fuses to other organs. It went undetected in ultrasounds. A vaginal birth would have killed me, likely before I even made it to the hospital. Accreta typically means two things: a blood transfusion and a hysterectomy. Thanks to Dr Hodges, I still have my uterus.
10 days postpartum I had a uterine hemorrhage (which was related to the accreta). Dr Hodges' quick response to my phone call where I described my symptoms saved my life for a second time.
I got pregnant totally by accident in January. Like, I know how that whole things works .. the birds and the bees... still, I had no warning as we were taking preventive measures.
Anyway, my ENTIRE 4th PREGNANCY I was TERRIFIED. I was monitored again by maternal fetal, this time they were specifically looking for accreta which is very hard to detect via ultrasound. I never really got excited or felt connected to my pregnancy because of my fear of DYING delivering this child.
On Tuesday my husband drove me to the hospital and I sobbed the entire way there, the whole two hours pre-op, and walking into the OR. This time, Dr. Zaita was to perform my c-section. She's equally as talented and I trusted her, too. I was still just completely scared. Anyway, THIS TIME they calmly walked me through what would happen in the OR: anesthesia would come in and do the spinal .. I remembered last time the hospital's anesthesiologist yelling at me to stop trembling or I'd be paralyzed. She no longer works there. She assured me this would be different. They told me they were "going in" assuming that I DO have an accreta despite there being no evidence of me having one. They'd have blood products on hand. They talked to me about a hysterectomy, they'd only do it if necessary. But the "hysterectomy tray" would be in there. The hospitals intensive care pediatrician would be in there in case there were any complications with baby. They gently over communicated. They talked about post-op pain management.. the anesthesiologist had some new ideas, new meds, etc. They were so kind and gentle.
We walked in there and I was still terrified but my doctor, instead of running around the OR, stood in front of me and held my hands. When they started the spinal she held my shoulders and rubbed them to calm me, she put her forehead on mine and asked me about my other children. We talked about teenagers, private schools, baby names. She never let go of me and her forehead never left mine until they were done and laid me down. NEVER have I had that experience and the distraction worked. I was calm(er) and felt safe.
During the surgery, after they took out baby she did something no other doctor had done: she held my blue, crying, covered-in-vernix, still-had-his-cord, brand new baby above the blue drape so I could see him. I've never seen my baby before they were cleaned off. I cried happy tears.
After they measured him, cleaned him and wrapped him, the pediatrician excitedly took photos for us. Baby was crying so she brought him to my face so I could talk to him and put my skin to his. As soon as she was able to (surgery wise) she unwrapped him and pulled down my gown and put us skin-to-skin.... I've never had that experience and it was absolutely amazing and beautiful.
I'm 4 days postpartum and I feel great. My pain was half as bad as I'm used to thanks to creative thinking.
If you're looking for a new doctor, one who will be your advocate, tell you like it is (nicely) and also just be so understanding and gentle: I highly recommend Fair Ridge OBGYN. They're a dream.