Who didn't love Camp Monterey? I went to Monterey to feel like I belonged somewhere. I literally used to count down the days until summer camp began. My cabin mates and I would write letters to one another all year (this was pre-internet). At Camp Monterey (CM) we lived in rustic log cabins, walked in the forest, and learned all sorts of skills. CM had everything to fill a young girls heart --from canoeing to horseback riding, crafts where you could tie dye your own clothes and make jewelry or hair pins, archery, ceramics, woodwork, sailing, swimming, the list goes on and on! We all ate together in a large hall then sang songs after dinner. We had teams and the teams threw parties for each other with dinner and a show. "Friendly" competition was the rule, so we were all friends. It was almost perfect.
My memories are nostalgic and bitter sweet. Some bullying issues were not addressed as strongly as I think is appropriate, but what do you do at age 10? Crying and complaining got me nowhere, so I became competitive over the bullying. I wanted to be the best, most loved camper. I didn't understand why some girls were naturally more lovable than others. I worked on my skills relentlessly so I would place during the meet-week in the canoe races and demos, various swimming competitions, archery showdowns, and dressage demos on horseback. I wanted to earn the most points for my team so we could win the meet-week Trophy ("The Cup"). I rarely placed first. I often made 2nd or 3rd. So, I worked harder. I cleaned our cabins so we would win good housekeeping awards, I demonstrated above-and-beyond kindness towards my peers, offering to hang up wet swimming towels on the clothes line or do a chore for them, which incidentally helped me learn customer service and employee skills.
There was a weekly campfire meeting where awards were given out for personality and overall performance. I never got one. That was heart breaking. When a camper got an award, she would run through the circle of campers past the big fire to the counselors and hug them, then the girl graciously accepted the award (usually a medal or a ring) while everyone cheered. I wanted that. One time, we rigged the camper votes in our cabin to select a very unpopular girl for the "Unit Spirit" award. In that little secret pow-wow, I almost mentioned I had never earned that award, but I didn't want to come across as jealous and I didn't want a rigged award. I guess in the end I learned that awards can give temporary satisfaction but they are ultimately meaningless. they only promote ego. Do good anyways.
My journey through Monterrey was cut short. My parents removed me one year before I became a Junior Counselor (JC). JCs were the cream of the crop. They had cabin that was nestled in a private area where they had hot showers, a garden full of rare black raspberries, enormous dewberries, and genuine wild huckleberries. The cabin was off limits for younger campers. The most exciting part of the CM journey was looking forward to earning JC status so you could enter the secret cabin. It almost felt like I was never initiated as a woman because it was so important to me, and I lost it. I am grown now so I just don't think of it, because it's still painful to remember. This is how much that magical place means to some of us. I love Monterey.
I believe in healthy competition and I believe girls need a place to go be girls -- not the kind on TV and internet, but girls who ride horses, and can string and shoot a long bow, and do a perfect canoe landing at high speed. However, WHO you are matters at CM. But hey, that's just life. We don't always get what we want and it's ultimately my fault for not not having the wisdom at age 10-15 to fix nepotism and privilege. I did try going back as an adult to make my peace with the place, but it still disturbs me. Lesson learned: only one person gets first place -- and it can't be everybody. Don't attach yourself too much to your goals, because things beyond your control happen all the time. Don't attach yourself too much to your youth, because it will go away. Someone has to place second and third, and you have to be able to live with not being the best when you go to bed at night. Some young women get medals, rings, and celebrations of their character. Some do not. Do the right thing anyways. I often get accused of overthinking, but Miss Dollie would do the right thing no matter what. As the owner of CM until her passing several years ago, I learned to deeply respect her for creating such a good, magical place for girls.
So, if you send your girl here, remember it will probably be one of the most important experiences of her youth. If she wants to finish, please let her finish. read more
