It is with great disappointment and a heavy heart to have to write this review as well as share my…read morestory.
My mother worked part time for Phil and Julie at Dartmouth Funeral Home which makes this even more difficult, however, I would never want anyone to experience the sorrow I went through after my mother's passing.
Prior to her passing, she insisted I call upon Phil to look after things and she guaranteed me that he would help walk me through all our needs.
Upon my first visit, he was so assuring of how much he was going to help me through this because he did know my mother, we made the plans for her cremation and to follow her wishes, there would be no service, just her own obituary, sounds pretty simple right?
Well it wasn't ...
My mother wrote many poems, as well as a songwriter, she took it upon herself to write her own obituary ... as she stated, she wanted it to be her "own words", no more, no less.
I promised her that I would look after it for her.
I specifically told Phil this and he assured me I had nothing to worry about, he would wait on me before going forward at all with anything ...
Now I live with the hurt of letting my mother down ...
This was just the beginning, he had a rough draft of the obituary, however, he was NOT to go forward with anything until we made sure it was complete, to our shock, he took it upon "himself" and went forward with the draft and actually added his own words to what was NOT to be adjusted, he changed my mother's obituary and sent it to print with our local paper, never contacting us, no warning, no signing off by us.
... to my shocking surprise, I received a call from a very close friend to pass on their condolences, when I asked how they received word of her passing, they said they had read her obituary in the paper ... total emotional shock went through my entire body, I was in disbelief.
I wanted to call certain family members and friends, to hear it from me .... not the paper, it was too late for that, the snowball effect was in place.
I couldn't sleep the entire night, sick inside, I held off as long as I could to call the funeral home, at 5am, I couldn't wait any longer ... I apologized for waking him, but again, I couldn't wait any longer, turns out, it "was" Phil that sent it in, with changes .. once again, shock ... he reassured me that he would make it better, he will make it right .... only now, I think, how? the damage was done, it was printed in the paper and out there.
Then the story takes another turn, Phil no longer took my calls, he passed me off ... wow, was my mother wrong, he chose to NOT help me print the obituary correctly, he just gave me the email to The Chronicle Herald and sent me along my way, never to speak to me again, ... it still bothers me as I write this review. Thank god for JA Snows Funeral Home, they walked me through the process again with sincerity and compassion. I wish I went there first.
Phil's words "I don't want you calling me if the paper makes another error"
it was NOT the papers error, they printed exactly what Phil sent them "the wrong obituary" passing the blame was unbelievable to me.
Our next shock, when I was sitting at his desk prior to the obit issue, he threw a paper in front of me and said "oh ya, and sign this, this is for your mother's cremation" although she had already been cremated 2 days prior.
I had absolutely no idea that I had anything to sign before this ... once again, my mother told me he would walk me through this .. it was so demeaning to me, to treat my mother's family with so much disrespect, as well as her cremation, I had more compassion when my cat was cremated.
Then the story goes on .... I received my mother's "Proof of Death" I could not believe it, another error, the wrong birthdate. I starting thinking to myself, is he going to do anything right.
This was so simple, 3 little things to look after, a cremation, an obituary to the paper and no service.
The emotional scar this has left on my heart will take forever to heal, the reason for sharing this ... my sincere opinion, Phil has lost his sympathy for the business, to me, it's just business as usual, at least that is how he made us feel ...
A sincere apology may have helped in the beginning, but refusing to take my calls and passing me off as he did the cremation paper on his desk said it all to me ... he had my money, in his eyes, he was done.
The healing process after my mother's death was emotionally difficult, this experience on the other hand will unfortunately haunt me for a very long time.
Phil didn't help, he extended my grieving process for weeks.
My mother would be so disappointed with this, I'm sure she is looking down on me with disbelief herself.
Wally Jessome