Not to start off a review by venting, but a little personal touch on why I'm so upset right now…read moremight go a long way in understanding why this is a one star review.
I have personally been going through quite a bit lately that has led me to purposefully drag myself out of my apartment and channel my life frustrations into healthy activities and ventures. Between travel, trying to find a cat to adopt, and other every day oddities, I decided that I wanted to get back into an old hobby of mine: dancing.
What could go wrong, right? I took ballet at a young age and was encouraged to stop, as I looked like a "flat piece of cardboard flapping in the breeze." When I got older, I dabbled in dance in high school, and went on to become a professional mascot for some years. Dancing isn't something that I find hard, and many routines, I am able to easily memorize, and have a lot of fun with. But, you know, I haven't learned an actual serious routine in human-form in nearly 7 years. Relevant.
Today, I ventured to SoReal after being advised by Yelp that this would be a great place for "beginners" to come and "learn how to dance." Let me advise you: there was no learning HOW to dance, rather... after 10 minutes of the class, at least 10 eight-counts were shoved down my throat and I realized, I am being taught A dance.
One must learn to dance before being taught an actual dance. So, you know, I took my cardboard-flapping body and left the studio mid-class.
This wouldn't have happened if SoReal did a few items off the basic customer service checklist. First of all, when I arrived at 4:30 pm for a 5:00 pm class (early to ask questions, get info, etc.) the door was locked and a very bland young man answered the door. He let me in, and was not welcoming or cheerful or anything at all. I was obviously uneasy and frankly, a little shy, to be out doing something so bold after having spent the last few months hiding under a Calvin Klein comforter, downing margarita wine, while binge watching Grey's Anatomy.
Despite my personal issues, kindness is a universal language that this man was obviously not fluent in. He did nothing to sell the studio or class to me, not phased whether I stayed or went. He did assure me that anyone attending this class would likely be their first class, and that you don't need any prior knowledge of dancing to attend.
So, I went with it. There were about 10 people in my class, none of whom were very friendly. They stayed mostly to themselves during the warm up and stretching, which was fine by me. But the instructor was a very heavy-set young lady who seemed to be gasping for air after the set of stretches. Then, she played us a clip of the song we'd be learning the choreography to, and within seconds, she was shouting, "And then you do this! This! And this!" First of all, have you ever heard of an 8-count? Do you know how to break it down for us "beginners?" And when you picked on the little Asian guy in the class for adding his own style to a move, did you mean to insult him?
I had all these questions streaming through my head as the instructor sped up the pace on a choreography that was FAR from beginner. We didn't practice with music through any of this. I finally gave up about 20 minutes in the class. I wasn't enjoying myself. It wasn't a beginner choreography (or even a good choreography at that). No one was at the front desk when I left, so I was unable to get a refund on my lousy $12.
Basically, I left here feeling like I paid $12 to feel even more badly about myself. Thanks SoReal for keepin' it real.
