Wife orders a salad and ceviche for dinner -- two appetizers, because apparently tonight she's…read moreliving dangerously. I go civilized: Squash and Scallop soup, and some lamb chops. The server asks if I want potatoes or vegetables with the lamb. I say veggies, because I'm an adult who occasionally makes good choices.
First course shows up -- soup's fine, nobody dies. Then they bring out the ceviche, slap it down between us like we're supposed to fight for it. We explain, no, genius, that's her meal. He apologizes, like a man who just realized he forgot to put the main course on the grill -- because, spoiler alert, he forgot to put the main course on the grill.
Thirty minutes later (because why rush?), the lamb chops finally appear. Well, technically they appear -- what actually lands on my plate are three sad grey meat Frisbees. No pink. No juice. Just pure, well-done sadness you could resole boots with.
And because it's amateur hour, he brings potatoes. Not veggies. Potatoes. I tell him -- again -- that I ordered veggies. He scurries off and brings some broccoli or whatever, which I gnaw on like a prisoner desperate to get paroled.
So, to recap: after a long meal and spectacularly bad service, I leave having consumed soup and vegetables. No lamb. They didn't charge me for the inedible lamb chops -- thanks, heroes -- but they did charge me for the French fries I didn't order and sure as hell didn't eat.
Five-star experience all around. Can't wait to never go back.