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BC Carnation Coop Preschool

5.0 (4 reviews)

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Tolt Middle School

Tolt Middle School

1.0(1 review)
0.6 mi

If you're thinking about sending your child to Tolt Middle School, DON'T. This isn't a school--it's…read morea medieval proving ground where only the strong (or incredibly lucky) make it out unscathed. Let's start with the injuries. Every hallway, every staircase, every inch of this school is a death trap. The Stairwell of Eternal Suffering claims victims daily--kids tumbling down like ragdolls, arms and legs bending in ways they were never meant to be. I once saw a kid trip at the top step, and by the time they reached the bottom, their spirit had already left their body. The Gymnasium of Carnage is worse. Dodgeball? More like Projectiles of Pure Malice. There's no mercy, no humanity--just seventh graders launching rubber balls with the force of a freight train. I watched a kid (let's call him Timmy) take a shot to the head so hard that he forgot the entire periodic table. He was once a straight-A student. Now? He just stares at walls and mutters about mitochondria. And let's talk about the REAL tragedy here: the systematic destruction of intelligence. If you're smart, you won't be for long. The academically gifted? Oh, they get dragged down into the intellectual abyss, forced to socialize with the slack-jawed, Fortnite-obsessed masses. I've seen brilliant students, future prodigies, warped and broken until they're laughing at fart jokes and saying things like, "I don't get why we need algebra." The horror. James--oh, poor, poor James. Once a shining beacon of knowledge, a walking encyclopedia of facts and reason. Now? He grunts. He shuffles among the dim-witted, his vocabulary reduced to TikTok catchphrases and guttural noises. They took his potential, chewed it up, and spit it out. Tolt Middle School didn't just break his bones; it broke his mind. The cafeteria? You don't eat there. You survive. The food looks like it was scraped off the floor of an abandoned gas station, and if you make eye contact with the wrong kid, you'll be trapped in a conversation about YouTube drama until your brain cells start jumping ship. Tolt Middle School doesn't prepare you for high school--it prepares you for war. If your child has dreams, intelligence, or even just functioning limbs, send them somewhere else. This isn't an education. This is a death sentence. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

BC Carnation Coop Preschool - preschools - Updated May 2026

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