Austin, TX: a squalid, steaming little concrete launchpad for about 10,000 overvalued startups populated by a few hundred thuggish cops, 10,000 smug tech entrepreneurs, their lawyers, engineers, and accountants, 700,000 people earning $9 an hour to pour their coffee and answer their phones, and a dozen assholes on recumbent bicycles.
*Jim Cramer voice* SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL
Seriously, don't believe the hype. You can get a taco anywhere. Don't bother coming to Austin unless you're an engineer, an IT aspie, an RoR developer/programmer/banjo player, a tranny who wants to run for mayor, a black kid who wants to get shot by a police officer, or a hot-blooded silicon based lifeform from a distant galaxy who thrives in desert biomes and has terrible taste in music.
People in Austin are...nice, I guess, in that "barely tolerating you but mom raised me right" kind of way. I'd imagine everyone here would be genuinely nice if they weren't all worried how they were going to pay the rent on their cramped, unhygenic studio apartments. That's because everyone a) under 30 with b) either any sort of BA, or an MA not based in the sciences is competing with 100,000 UT students who can and will do any entry-level job for minimum wage or bragging rights. Most people I know (whatever this says about me) are cobbling together a sub-par existence with 2-3 low-wage, part-time service industry jobs. That's the vaunted Austin economy, folks! Best figure it out now, n00bs, before you move here. Yeah, there's tons of jobs, as long as you consider folding clothes at the Gap a "job". Typical job posting on Craigslist:
"Looking for a rockstar web developer with a background in long-haul trucking and competitive swimming. Must have 2+ years of legal/administrative experience or at least a Masters degree in Kenpo. Please, don't email resumes: if Mother senses that you want this job badly enough, she will dispatch a pigeon to your home forthwith. Read your resume to the pigeon. Make it quick, he's impatient. $9.00 p/h. EOE compliant."
The "arts scene" here is 90% hype. The Alamo Drafthouse is cool, and I like the no-talking, no-texting rule, except that in this particular case you instead get to hear the sound of a hundred fatasses eating, because apparently they couldn't be bothered to eat at home. Instead, they opt for the novelty of a $15 meatball sub from a snack stand in a theater next to a Half-Price Books and a Zumba. Seriously, I'm trying to watch the Avengers. Not listen to the dulcet tones of your digestive tract from beginning to bitter end. The clubs here are cramped, damp, and have terrible sound. No good bands come here except to do a free show for "south-by" (boy, does that phrase make me want to blow my head off) but good luck getting within a mile of it because traffic, which is normally intolerable, becomes a Michael-Douglas-wielding-a-rocket-launcher, turning-any--reasonably-liberal-human-being-into-a-raving-libertarian-over-the-failures-of-city-government-to-alleviate-basic-infrastructure-problems, beating-on-your-steering-wheel-until-the-airbag-inflates-level crisis.
I'd be less surprised about how often I get stuck behind buses if I was ever able to catch one when I needed one. Same goes for cabs. Catching a cab in this town is next to impossible. Woe be unto the pretty 20-something unfortunate enough to be caught on 6th street after the bars close.
There's a train that goes from...some place downtown to some other place slightly north of that. That's all I know about it. It's loud and stupid and probably cost a fortune and no one knows where it goes. CapMetro sucks balls.
The political scene is FUCKED. It's this like, constant, inescapable, endlessly annoying generational tug of war between a bunch of greedy developers who want to cover every inch of Austin in glass and concrete, and a bunch of off-putting, sanctimonious "activists" who waste their friends money fighting it. The Mayor reminds me of Judge Smails in Caddyshack, complete with the gladhandling businessman shit, and the city council members are elected from "places" (wards, to the rest of us--keep it weird, Austin!) but serve at large, so prepare to be sold out no matter who you vote for, in record time. Why they don't just have council members represent the "places" from which they're elected, I'll never know. But be prepared to hear a lot about it this year, because some very annoying people are taking up the banner! That's assuming you read the news, which, if you live here, you probably don't, because you're a lazy doofus no sense of civic pride except for thinking that your city has the best asses and dopest food trucks in the country. Like, 10% of people vote here. That's friggin' pathetic. And the worst part is that it's really easy and justifiable to become that way after living here for a certain amount of time, because there's nothing about this city worth caring about. read more