Yes, I've returned to the Hart Highlands. Going to the Hart to eat out is like visiting an urologist for a wine tasting. I've yet to find a location worth suggesting in the Hart, with the restaurants ranging from sub-par to something a refugee from Georgia would avoid. I don't know why it suffers from such bad business standards. In contrast, College Heights across town has several restaurants worthy of praise. So with a knot on my stomach, I've travelled back to the bowl's edge to take in this isolated pub which you'd miss if you blinked...or if you had a measure of self preservation.
From the outside, Alpine looks incredible, like a ski resort atop a mountain in Switzerland. Inside however, I'm reminded of why I set my standards slightly above a marijuana bar in Amsterdam. Beer advertisements adorn every spare square foot. I counted six on one ten-foot expanse which included a four-foot window. The gambling stations were all placed side-by-side against one wall next to the pool table. Their TV count is slightly lower than average but this is offset with Alpine boasting some of the largest screens in town. Despite the pub being awash in the Christmas spirit, I was still able to find a framed hockey jersey. I'm sure Dan Hamhius is a popular local celebrity but when half the pubs I go to have one of his jerseys on a wall, the regality begins to pale.
The waitress suggested the daily soup, Parmesan garlic, along with the daily special, cod over jasmine rice and curry sauce. I'll to take my hat off to any restaurant, especially a pub, which offers a fish course as a lunch special. Every pub I'd reviewed so far hasn't broken from the sandwich standard. After receiving the dish, I realized why. The dish had a slight fishy smell. The curry overpowered the rest of the meal, and when I did taste the cod, it was that unpleasant aftertaste that had turned me off of fish for the last thirty years of my life. It eventually became a struggle to finish the plate. The rice was inconsistent and the sauce was runny. Altogether, not a plate I'd enjoy having again. How much of this can be blamed on me? I've admitted not liking fish.
Which is why I ordered it. A burger is a safe bet, like the sandwiches most pubs offer. This places a lot of undeserved pressure on Alpine for trying something outside the box. Should they be punished for failing? I'm sure their sandwiches are acceptable, probably on par, but if a place is going to offer a special, there should be a reason, like they had acquired fresh ingredients that morning and everything was being made that day to appease the people endorsing said special. It should be the best dish made that day compared to the half frozen reheated alternatives on the menu.
Perhaps if I had ordered a dish hiding on the bottom of page four, I could be accused of throwing the balance against Alpine's favor, but by offering a fish special, they've shot for a new strata and failed to reach it. I recently did enjoy several fish dishes proving to me that most of the problems regarding fish are based entirely in its preparation. Alpine should probably stick with their pub grub. The soup wasn't half bad, offered with an impressively sized slab of garlic bread larger than my bowl. It was also topped with croutons and nestled next to two packages of saltines. There's a point where someone needs to draw the line. Bread, croutons, and crackers, I'd say pick two. And although I've mentioned the soup was good, there was a flavour in it I couldn't nail down. Either the parmesan was too dominate in the bowl or in order to increase its flavour, it was enhanced with the stuff you'd find in the green plastic can, a theory becoming more substantiated when I felt solid grains rolling around my gums. And before you point fingers, I've never purchased grated parmesan; I've been shredding wedges at my table for over ten years.
By the end of the meal, I had to deal with a slightly staggering $20 bill, making it one of the more expensive pub meals I've had. If I could tap my science fiction foundations, I'd plead for an Inconian teleportation portal like on Star Trek The Next Generation (#137, Contagion, and I didn't even need to look it up), but in this case, I'd walk into Alpine Pub & Grill and enter Alfredo's Pub. One needs a nice interior, the other an exterior.
Food: 2/5
Service: 3/5
Presentation: 3/5
Value: 2/5
Recommendation: 2.5/5 read more
