My 93-year-old mom recently passed peacefully, about a year after moving into Aegis Living Ravenna. In a sense, it was a bonus year for us. She had lived a full life and was ready to go a year ago, but her resilient body kept on going despite the dementia that changed so much of what she could manage for herself. More than anything she did not want to be hospitalized at end of life. But her own home was unsafe and she kept having falls and other incidents that would take her to the emergency room. We, her children, were insisting on getting extra help at home for her, but she did not want that either. We were really stuck.
Fortunately, last June, her housemate (who had practically become her live-in aide) went to Europe for two weeks, and Mom agreed to a short-term stay at Aegis at Ravenna. It was so successful that when she came back home, she thought she could manage just fine on her own. Another fall convinced her and us that something had to change. She decided, on her own, that she would move to Aegis at Ravenna. She never looked back or regretted it. (Neither did we.)
There were many pluses for us. The location was perfect. Mom had raised her kids in Maple Leaf, and my younger sister lived just north of Aegis and I was just to the east, an easy walk. Mom and her family had lived in Rome, Italy for three years, so the look and feel of Aegis at Ravenna was warm and welcoming and familiar. The Aegis community made it easy for us, as family members, to join Mom for dinners (sometimes lunches and breakfasts if I walked over in the morning). That was great social time (and delicious food) and also a chance to have fascinating conversations with other residents. We came over almost every weekend to watch football games with Mom in the sports bar. Mom enjoyed herself. Her studio was the perfect size to be comfortable and manageable. All of these visits gave us the opportunity to get to know staff and show our appreciation and get our questions answered.
COVID-19 hit the week before Mom's 93rd birthday in March. We had one last dinner together in the dining room, and on her birthday a week later, we waved to her outside the dining room window as staff arranged a lovely party for her. As I write this review in August, we are still in shut down mode. But during the months between March and now, staff at Aegis did everything possible to keep Mom and all the residents safe and keep their facility COVID-free. More than that, they found creative ways to keep people engaged and active despite being limited to eating meals in their rooms for many weeks. Mom rallied during this time. She was almost always in good spirits despite the difficulties. Since June, we've been able to have weekly in-person visits in the "outdoor living room" behind plexiglass. That has meant a lot to us.
Life at Aegis at Ravenna was good for Mom and for our family. And so was her passing. The sign she had been waiting for came in the form of a stroke one morning in August. She did not regain consciousness. She had been adamant about not wanting hospitalization at end of life, and Aegis was able to respect her wishes and ours. We were able to get her back into hospice in a matter of hours, and Aegis allowed me and my brother to stay with her the final four days of her life.
This is what I wrote to our family after she passed:
These young men and women on the Aegis staff (many of them nursing students) were incredibly respectful, loving, and caring as they changed her briefs, repositioned her, swabbed out her mouth, and always called her by name and asked first before they touched her body. It gives me great hope about the compassion of the younger generation. They all told me how much they admired Mom and enjoyed being with her when they assisted her at Aegis. I'm so proud of her for letting go of her insistence on doing everything independently to allow herself to accept their assistance. (I used to tell her that her job now was to train these young people to be compassionate caregivers. I think she was a great teacher.)
In her obituary I wrote:
Many family members and friends will remember Kathy for her warm smile, incisive wit, reflexive generosity and hospitality, and great analytical ability. But perhaps most telling are the words of one of the young men who assisted her at Aegis at Ravenna on the final days of her life, "Kathy was a splendid woman, and I learned a lot from her."
I have been on the journey of dementia with other relatives who have lived in other assisted living facilities over the past 25 years. There is no question in my mind that Aegis at Ravenna was the best by far on all counts, but, in particular, for their professional, yet compassionate and caring staff and their commitment to providing quality of life to the residents and their families. When my time comes (if I should be fortunate to live that long), I would gladly move there myself. read more