I got in touch with A Place For Mom when mom's heath was failing and we weren't sure if she was going to be able to remain independent when she was released from the nursing home she was sent to to recuperate after a hospital stay.
The woman I spoke with was very empathetic, and we spent over an hour during our the first conversation as I explained the situation to her, and she presented me with various options.
I was asked what kind of budget I thought my mom would be comfortable with and I explained that something between $1k - 2k per month would probably be where we wanted to be.
The woman said that that would certainly narrow things down a bit from the 20 or so places available in the area, but was doable, and would still give us perhaps 6 places to choose from.
With mom expected to be released from the nursing home within a week or two, there was no time to waste, so I set up appointments to visit 4 of these facilities the following week.
When I visited the first place, I was a bit shocked when they told me they understood that I was aware their monthly charge would be $5K a month, and barreled on with a presentation of the benefits included (a canned sales pitch lasting at least 15 minutes).
When the woman finally stopped talking, I told her that something must have gotten lost in the translation, as we weren't looking to spend that much, as my mom just didn't have that much money and the family wasn't able to help with her care financially.
When she asked how much we were thinking of, I said somewhere between $1k - 2k would be what we had available. With that, she slowed down her pace, and stared into my eyes saying "That is a bit low. You're probably not going to be able to find any place to take care of your mom for that amount...." she said "I'm pretty sure you're going to find everyone is going to be asking for $5k a month, as that is pretty much the standard price that all elderly care residential services are getting".
After a little bit of silence, almost as an afterthought, she said "well... we do have a handful of 'shared apartments', but there is only one available right now, I believe... let me look" then she checked her computer and announced that "yes, there is one unit available. The shared apartments go for $2,650 a month", she said, but "being a first come, first served facility, if you're interested in that unit, we would require an immediate, non-refundable, deposit of $2k to hold the unit for 2 weeks", then asked "how does that sound...?"
I explained I really had no idea when my mom was going to be released, and if she wasn't released within the 2 weeks as expected, putting a deposit down without really knowing what was going on would be foolish.
I explained I really needed to check in with the nursing home and see how my mom was doing and see if I could get a date they expected to release her. I also explained I had 3 other places to visit and wouldn't be in a position to make any kind of decision until I'd seen what our options really were. I asked if that made sense to her, and she agreed that it did.
At this point she asked if I would like a tour of the residence, and then took me on a tour of the facility.
Every room we went into felt terribly small. Normally, I don't get claustrophobia at all, and yet every one of the living quarters were small enough to make me feel closed in and uncomfortable. I was told these were "full-size, single-occupancy" units, and while I don't know what they were in square feet, each of these apartments were only about the size of my living room... seriously.
I thought, hell no... I couldn't stand to live in one room of this size, and couldn't bear to see my mom living like that. It would be like being in prison, they were so small.
When I finally commented "it's a bit small", the Director flippantly said, "oh, they get used to it after a couple of weeks...".
Seeing the concern on my face, she added, "they really don't spend much time in their rooms anyway. We have all kinds of activities, and we encourage them to socialize.... we check on them every morning and ask them what their plans for the day are; they get a sheet of the weekly/monthly activities, and we remind them of what's available each day..."
Of course, I'm thinking "for this you want $5k a month ??? Really ???"
I simply nodded, indicating I understood, and we continued the tour.
When we got to the "shared apartment", it was pretty much the same size as the "individual" units, but had a short hallway on the left of where we first entered, about 6 feet long or so, with a doorway on the right.
Both, individual and shared units, had one tiny little mini-refrigerator and a very small sink and counter, with a microwave (that took up almost all the space).
The hallway by the doorway was where the 2nd bedroom was - just large enough to barely fit a twin bed inside and a dresser. It was a closet.
**All the other facilities were the same read more
