It's....It's a dinosaur.
Well, not really, in fact it's not even close to one. It tries to resemble a Tyrannosaurus but comes off looking like Barney The Dinosaur suffering from anemia had sex with Charmander. This effigy is more like an animated caricature of itself, with oversized feet and color choices better suited for Hanna Barbera. I wonder why there wasn't a more concerted effort to not make it resemble a worn Godzilla suit from a 1950's Toho film.
But it's a big f$%#@ing thing, and that's what a small town like this needs. I listen to Lewis Black--I know how it works; it's big, and it's a f$%#@ing thing. So you pay three bucks and you climb a paltry 103 steps to reach an impressive view of a very small town. It's at that point it occurs to you, "wait, the best dinosaur museum in the world is like seven minutes away. Why am I not there?"
I understand the appeal of a giant thing. Maybe it's just feelings of inadequacy since my hometown's big thing isn't terribly big. It's barely nine meters and looks like Bob the Builder post coital. But at least we don't charge people three bucks to enter him, and oh God, I am so sorry for forcing that image onto people reading this. At least the money goes towards non-profit ventures, probably to aid in the building of more public works. Hell, I'd give a positive review just to avoid a boilerplate response from Debbie, the facility's manager, apparently intent to reach out to everyone that posts on Trip Advisor. Noble cause, we get it--I'm sure the World's Largest Dinosaur has a crippled wife and children on the brink of starvation. ("Are you a rotten liar.")
I have paid to walk up the steps of big things before, St. Paul's Cathedral, the Scott Monument, but 103 steps is not even a challenge. Maybe the dinosaur needs to be bigger. I mean, if it was free to climb, that's one thing, but it's three bucks for what amounts to sixty seconds of interest after a minute of scaling. I was actually suspecting things would jump out at me as I climbed, or that there would be narration and/or images depicting paleontological facts. Nothing. Nothing jumped out, no narration. Come on, give me something other than poor speakers echoing jungle noises.
Maybe a pay by donation would've improved the experience...as long as it was offered after. Then they could guilt people into paying. Knowing that, I would've probably paid the exact same amount, but at least it would've been my choice to make. In conclusion, would I recommend visiting and paying for the World Largest Dinosaur? Absolutely!
"Wait, what?"
Seriously, have you not paid attention to the underlying point of this review? It's a giant dinosaur, and as big f#$%@ing things go, a dinosaur beats everything. It should be the fourth option in rock-paper-scissors. Rock beats paper, scissors cut paper, and dinosaur poops over everything. So yeah, badly painted, deformed, and resembling a shaved penguin, but it's a dinosaur, and dinosaurs are awesome so this automatically must be awesome as well. I don't make the rules folks. read more