Pros: Best restaurant in Poland
Cons: No kosher menu
I ordered the chicken. I said, can I get it stuffed like my old granny's mother in Belzec used to stuff it before they poured Zyklon B on her? The waiter said yes because I gave him a pack of Marlboro cigarettes.
The Polish soup was delicious! By hiding it under my jacket I was able to pour the tureen into the toilet. I told the waiter I was going to vomit so no one suspected anything.
The next course, I think it was a raw squirrel foot, went down the same toilet bowl.
Finally the stuffed chicken arrived. It was stuffed with a live lobster, which is how the elite of Poland enjoy their stuffed chickens. Damn thing bit my wrist and caused bleeding. However, I asked for it the way my grandmother stuffed chickens, which involved a pigeon shoved up the chicken hole, so the friendly waiter made an ugly face and hauled the monstrosity back to the kitchen.
I felt sorry for the poor lobster so I called my planner and arranged for him to be transported to the Baltic sea near the Danish coast, where they are friendlier to lobsters.
Meanwhile, the chicken came back to the table stuffed with half-smoked cigarettes and souvenir toenail clippers. It was the most delicious chicken I ever ate.
Suddenly an earthquake occurred and I felt queasy so I threw a pile of high-denomination notes onto the table and ran outside where I vomited for several minutes. I do not handle earthquake-related nausea very well.
This is the best restaurant in the whole wide world. read more