"Driving Miss Moblee," Act III, Scene III (14/18)…read more
[Overhead shot of Esther and Boke sitting on a wooden bench overlook at Franklin Point, as heavy waves and king tide surf crash against the rocks and scour the beach with frothy sea foam to "Beachcoming" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgZXTCkkgLk)].
[Camera zooms in to a small picnic of sourdough rye bread topped with Harley Farms chevre (Pescadero, CA) and hickory smoked lomo from El Salchichero artisan butcher shop (Santa Cruz). E. and B. also share bottles of 2017 Howard Family Vineyard Santa Cruz Mountains Chardonnay and 2017 Wirz Vineyard Cienega Valley old vine Carignane, both from Big Basin Vineyards, using stemless Riedel wine glasses].
E: Boke, this here is one LOVELY view! And these Big Basin wines ya' brung' are DIVINE! I visited their Saratoga tastin' room and all for The Press, but these particula' wines wasn't available - back theeeen.
B: No'um, lahkly not, butt wez wahn klub membahs at da' Beeg Bas'n Wahn'ry, 'n we jes' luvs ta' stop there ta' taste wahns like 'dat.
[E. sets down her glass of Chardonnay on the bench and stares intently at B., despite his efforts to avert her gaze].
E: Boke ... or should I say ... Bradley N.? Ya' cun drop ya' redneck hillbilly Appalachian acc'nt thing, OK? OK?? I dun looked ya' up on tha' Internet, and while it is true that ya's from West Virgin'a an' all, ya' ain't no real redneck, is ya? Yeza Redneck In Name Only. Yeza R.I.N.O.!
[B. is silent. He stares down into his glass and waits].
E: Ya' was valedictorian of ya' high school class and then ya' went ... ta' Williams! Of all places, ya' hadta' pick a New England school like that, didnta'? And not only that ... ya' had ta' go an' graduate summa cum laude AS WELL ...
[B. blushes].
B: Honestly speaking, Esther, I didn't think you'd hire me as your driver if you knew all of that. Or if you learned about the Hopkins advanced humanities degrees, the Stanford postdoc, the Harvard interview, the Defense Language Institute training, or the still classified Black Ops secret mission stuff. I figured that the "Morgan Freeman meets Chris Cooper in Matewan" simple minded redneck persona would be easier for you to handle.
E: Ya' maght be right about that. Nobody will hire a' Hopkins man these days, especially one witha' degree in the ... HUMANITIES!
[B. nods his head, knowingly].
B: Well, Esther, in the interests of full disclosure, I doubt that your "Jessica Tandy meets Vivien Leigh" Southern Jewish belle thing is totally accurate, either. They teach you to act like that at Smith, did they?
[E. acts shocked, but is clearly acting].
E: Well, I nevah! That is jes' so ... Yeah, screw it. I went to Smith and was an English lit major who got into wine instead of teaching or grad school. The Southern belle schtick still works on the Robert Parker generation of multimillionaire men in Sonoma, Paso, and Napa who are styling themselves as vintners these days. It's easier that way with most men, except for the more enlightened ones like Ian Brand, Chris Brockway, or Dan Petroski.
B: Makes sense to me. A lot, actually.
E: I figured that hiring you as my hillbilly driver would fill out the whole "Driving Miss Daisy in a black Tesla" thing that we had going there when seeking out cult wines by folks like Reeve, LIOCO, Belden Barns, Baker Lane, Littorai, Red Car, Leo Steen, Hirsch, or Pax Mahle. And it was working with the high-end Napa folks at Progeny, Lokoya, and Kapcsandy, too, before you had to go and blow the whole thing up on Yelp. Thanks for that, by the way!
[E. gives B. the finger].
B: Well, you started it!
E: No, you did! Jerk.
B: I know you are, but what am I?
[E. and B. smile, take sips of their wine, and stare out at the waves crashing in front on them].
E: Dude, what say we hike back to the Tesla and hit up some of the Westside tasting rooms in Santa Cruz this afternoon? Well, after coffee at Verve first. My treat. What do you say, B.? Are you even still listening?
B: E., I'd say that's a very smart idea coming from a spoiled little Smith girl who gets paid to drink expensive wine.
[After E. throws Chardonnay in B's face, the two start hiking back to the Tesla].
E: Hillbilly rednecks who went to Williams! When will they learn how to treat spoiled little Smith girl wine sluts like me properly?
B: Never too late to try. After you.
E: After you, dude. Also: I'm driving.
[B.'s eyes widen, but gives her the key].
[Camera pans out to the trailhead where the Tesla is waiting. E. enters with B. and turns on the ignition, but she hesitates long enough for B. to notice].
B: The engine's on. On means go.
E: Give me your "made in Montana" hat first.
[B. places the hat on E's head, who is now wearing her mirrored aviator glasses. Like a Titan rocket, the Tesla streaks South on Highway 1 with "Joyride" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCorJG9mubk) blasting through open windows].
[End of Act III].
