I needed to change my behavior, that much was clear. Equally obvious was that the thing I was…read morestruggling so hard to make work (the 12-step modality) was just not a good fit with my personal belief system, which made it exceeding difficult to stick to. I did not believe I was "powerless" (though I admittedly needed some help), and I instinctively knew that starting every sentence with "My name is Melyanna and I'm an alcoholic" was not healthy for one's self image, let alone one's sobriety. The search began for something that would work for me; soon my spouse told me about GBR (I was too involved in my isolation and substance abuse to do any research myself). She had combed the site, made a call to GBR, and after after speaking to Kat, told me she knew in her gut this was the place where I would find the healing I had needed for so long. So I summoned up the courage, called and spoke to Kat myself, and shortly came to roughly the same conclusion. I got on a plane and committed myself and the next 2 months of my life (as well as a bunch of my parents' money) wholeheartedly to whatever it was they were cooking up down there. This turned out to be the best and most significant decision I have made in my adult life.
I was desperate for real change, and had high hopes going in. GBR exceeded all of my expectations. It is not an exaggeration to say my experience was transformative, and by the time I said goodbye, 8 weeks after walking through those doors, I was simply not the same person I was when I arrived- which was a great relief because that person did not and could not love himself and behaved in a manner consistent with that belief. It is difficult to nutshell the experience in a review-friendly sound-byte, and of course everyone who comes here is on his or her own path, but my personal experience at GBR was this: I was treated with compassion and understanding. Over the course of my stay, with a bit of encouragement, I learned to treat myself the same way. This long-overdue change in self-perception enabled me to organically arrive at an understanding of my relationship with my drug of choice (ethyl alcohol in my case) which made ceasing my previous behavior an intuitive choice. It was a deep understanding that I could not un-feel once I felt it.
Early in my stay at GBR, one of the counselors said something which turned out to be prophetic, and at the time sounded simultaneously counter-intuitive, hopeful and refreshing. And she said it with a level of conviction that really got my attention and made it stick in my awareness: "Stopping Doing Something isn't what we do here". The focus was never on fixing something that a 12-step program would say is fundamentally broken about me. I was never told I have a disease, never led to believe the behavior that brought me there was something I would have to struggle and fight against for the remainder of my life. I was allowed to heal at deeper, more fundamental level, and my compulsion to abuse alcohol simply fell away with several other behaviors that were neither nurturing or nourishing.
And that's the gift that GBR gives, if you do your part. You hear it in phrases like "getting out of your own way" and "connecting with the innate heath that is your birthright", etc. but whatever you call it- it worked for me. And I witnessed it working for others during my stay.
As it turns out, 8 weeks (which admittedly scared me a bit at first) was just about the sweet spot for me. Rome wasn't built in a day, so they say, and I certainly did not become the mess I was before I reached out to them overnight. The counselor I matched with was perfect for me; our sessions throughout my stay were comfortable, edifying, and empowering. They have several counselors on staff, and they are all awesome, committed professionals who have their individual approaches and strengths, as I learned in group sessions with them. Mine, however, was the the awesomest. (Many of my fellow guests said the same thing about their counselors, but I knew the truth).
Others have extolled the virtues of the location/environment/activities (all very conducive to healing), the food (I tried to take one of the chefs home with me but alas she was already in a relationship), the staff (all were phenomenally caring and compassionate), so I don't need to reemphasize any of that. GBR is in truth what others have described in that regard- a safe, loving place where you can heal from the inside-out. I went down there with a lot more baggage than I came home with, and for that I am eternally grateful for everyone whom I worked with during my stay.
If you've made it this far, I sincerely hope you reach out to them. You are worthy. If you are a family member of someone in need, please do the same.
