What a shambles. Phoned to get a stop put on my account due to an unauthorised action on my…read moreaccount. Had to go through several different departments. It was annoying enough that they all had different opening times, but here was the real fun: one line asked me for my online banking details (luckily I was online at that point); another asked me for my sort code and account number; another line on another day (due to marvellous opening hours) asked me for my bank card details.
If my sort code and account number plus security questions is good enough for one line, why is it not for the others? Why do different lines want different details, insisting that they can do nothing without the specific details they ask for, and that the other details are useless to them? Sounds like a total mess due to systems that aren't synced, but I don't know. I just know that whomever set it up did not think, 'how can I make it easy for customers to report stuff?'
So if you happen to be walking around with your card details, online banking login details, and sort code and account number on you (or in your head) at 1 o'clock in the day, you'll be fine to report any problems or raise any queries (actually, 1pm might be a problem - most employees probably head off for lunch at that time, given the gruelling banking hours they have to endure).
And the online 'virtual assistant'? i.e. enter a question and we'll see if it matches any queries we've had before, and we'll hope you don't notice it isn't a live chat.
Oh, and then I phone to say I've located the source of the unauthorised activity on my account (and it was unauthorised activity), that the matter has been resolved, and that my account should be unfrozen. The person on the phone says they have unfrozen it. Given that I knew a few people who formerly worked for Ulster Bank, I was familiar with stories of, "Yeah, doing that for you now.", while actually doing nothing at all, but not wanting to inform the customer of some inefficiency in the bank's systems and processes that doesn't permit logical requests to be taken and actioned. I check the next day and the account has not been unfrozen. (I almost die of shock, but am resuscitated by my new cunning life plan to get a job in a bank.)
I almost miss dealing with the DVA. No, wait, I didn't mean that, I take it back! Nothing can prepare you the journey of misery (which I can't properly describe, but would liken to a more severe iteration of Andy Dufresne's 500 yard crawl, without the exultant finish) that is dealing with the ineptitude and insidiousness of the DVA...(I must do a review for them once I finish the course of therapy I required after dealing with their record-breaking idiocy.)
