As bad as Walmart is, this one takes the cake for setting the suck bar even higher (or would that be lower) than the usual. Here is a short list of their sins against their customers.
- If you are calling this Walmart, you have a 100% chance of hearing the line ring...and ring...and ring for several minutes. After this, you have about a 99% chance that when you hear the line picked up, you will quickly hear it set back in the cradle and be hung up on. No lie, test me out. Happened twice in a row to me today alone.
- When you finally do get a voice on the other end, you may be tempted to think it is an automated system. But nay! It is a person, I assure you, but one so devoid of humanity that you will end your conversation questioning whether or not you had taken the blue pill or the red pill after all, Miiisterr Annndersoonnn.
- After speaking to the robotic voice and asking to be transferred to your department, you will hear nothing but silence for another 10 minutes or more. At this point, you will either be hung up on again or you will be transferred to the wrong department. Don't worry, this is the way the system works and you must work within it. They really don't want to talk to you and this is a very effective method they employ in their war on their customers to bring about your inevitable retreat. This is also why you should NEVER call a Walmart.
(Interlude - 13 minutes and counting of this silence thus far. Hang up and try again.)
The following applies to EVERY Walmart.
- Should you decide to hang up on your silent Walmart and take your butt to the store for your inquiries, you will very quickly find that you were better off at home. Or in another state. For heaven's sake, any other store will do. After you find your department through the maze of ever changing aisles, you will encounter...No one. Probably no one. Oh, you will see a lot of people in blue vest walking around and chit chatting and otherwise pretending to work, but they are not "working in that department" so they can't help you. They also may tell you that they are "too busy working" to work for you.
- But if there is "someone" working in that department, they will surely not be the "someone" that can help you because that "someone" does not work at your Walmart. "Someone" will take the words "helpful" and "customer service" forever out of your vocabulary. "Someone" hates their job and they hate you for presuming they should do their job.
- They will feign ignorance concerning the product you are looking for and make very clear that they can not assist you in finding said product. If they do decide to take you to the location of your product, it will be a search area of about 2 square miles and they will abandon you at that point.
- Chances are though, they will walk at such a quick pace that you lose them before reaching your destination. Walmart employees are trained in all forms of customer evasion, and this is the most successful. By the time you have glimpsed that blue vest turning the 5th corner of the labyrinth that is the route they have taken, you'll have lost them. You will never see or hear of that "Someone" again, because the turnover rate in Walmart is so high that they will probably quit on their break.
- After you have found your product (on your own) you will be assaulted by the temptation to purchase the cheaper "Equate" or "Great Value" brand. This is their final trap. Walmart is not content taking your money for essentially zero service, when your soul is on the table. Those Rollback prices promising you 2 pennies off can make even the stoutest sweat their resolve. The question before you is not one of dollars and cents, but a test of your very humanity and moral accountability. The brands that Walmart has created are made from the blood and tears of Asian children and the abject humiliation of every customer who feels they have no choice but Walmart. Doesn't that greed and inhumanity taste delicious?
- Actually, no. It doesn't taste delicious. It is stale, moldy and expired and tastes as cheap as it is and that's the main reason you aren't buying it, isn't it?
- At this point, I am not sure why you are still here. Go anywhere else. Go to your regional grocery store and buy what you need there. You will pay a few dollars more, but you will leave with your soul intact. read more
