1. Called to make an appointment. She doesn't even take my name. A little sussy.
2. Get there and enter through a side door marked with an "open" sign. It was a laundry room. Woman 1 looks at me like I have two heads. Woman 2 ushers me to a room. Both look surprised that I am there at all.
3. In the room and trying to tell Woman 1 what parts to focus on - head and shoulders. Does she understand me? I do not know.
4. Pay in advance and asked for a tip in advance.
5. Woman 1 tells me where I can leave my clothes and she leaves the room, leaves door open. I close the door and then see there is no top sheet on the massage table.
6. I find a towel to cover myself and start getting undressed.
7. Woman 1 comes into the room unannounced, leaving the door open, and starts taking my sweater off. I kid you not! WTF!??
8. I'm now on the table. There is no face cradle, but there is a bunch of paper towels to lay my face on. Woman 2 comes into the room with a sheet so I can be covered.
9. Woman 1 starts to massage, dry, almost no oil. She does this for about 5 seconds and Woman 2 comes in and Woman 1 leaves. Well, ok.
10. I end up getting a crazy "massage" that is really just having my hair pulled and my neck being violently pinched. The table is rocking all over and I am sure it's going to fall.
11. I lay there thinking about how awful this experience is and wondering if I am unwittingly in a sitcom.
12. She starts punching my heels during her foot massage. Not like little punches. Like punching punching.
13. It's over. I sit up and cover myself with the sheet and she sits there and stares at me. I am confused because Woman 1 and Woman 2 have switched places again and Woman 1 was doing the massage.
14. I start reaching for my clothes and Woman 1 grabs them and starts trying to dress me. She also grabs a scrunchie and puts it in my hair.
15. She looks at me and says, "I'm a nurse!"
16. I get out of there as fast as I can.
17. WTAF!??!!
18. Not
19. Ever
20. Again!! read more