I can't believe I was the first to write a review on this place…read more So I took the lyrics of DownTown by Petula Clark and dare I say, made them better? When you're alone And life is making you lonely, You can always go...to the palace (wear a collar, trust me) When you've got worries, All the petticoats in a flurry Seems to help, I know, at The Palaaaace Just love the music playing to the bounce of all the titties Linger at the back stage where darkness makes girls more pretty How can you lose? (marital vows and money don't count) The lights are much subtler there You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go To the palace, things'll be great when you're At The Palace, no finer place for sure, The Palace, the ATM's waiting for you Don't hang around And let your problems surround you There are stripper shows, downtown Maybe you know the palace is the place to go to Where they never close, downtown Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossanova Spend your life savings on a dance before the night is over Happy again...(and poorer) The lights are much kinder there You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go To The Palace, where all the girls are tight, The Palace, waiting for you tonight, The Palace, you're gonna be alright now (Before you get your credit card bill) Downtown (Hindley street) And don't forget not to throw coinage on the stage, If a girl trips over its sure to put her in a rage And you'll be thrown out on the street Just like last weeekkkk So, maybe we'll see you there We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares and go To The Palace, things'll be great when you're At The Palace, don't wait a minute more, At The Palace, the ATM's waiting for you (like your wife at home) The Palace (no exposed tattoos) The Palace (make sure you wear a collar and some shoes) The Palace (lots of overpriced booze!) The Palace(They're always on the newwws) (repeat and fade out) (with finger clicking) Pretty sure that sums up everything..

The touch and go policy is constantly rammed down your throats…read more Basically it is a reasonably friendly night club. The bouncers / doormen are very good and friendly. The bar staff are usually excellent. I can take or leave the music. How good the entertainers are is directly related to the depth of your pockets. The more you spend, the more they will hang around you. There are a group of girls there who seem to prefer using their mobile phones rather than making good money with customers. The quality of the lap dances depends entirely on the attitude of the performer. I have had great dances there as well as some horrible ones with "ice" ladies. Overall good but DON'T TOUCH.

The Crazy Horse is dingy, sleazy, and all together creepy. Stepping in here feels a little like…read moreyou've just walked in on someone watching amateur porn. At the same time (depending on the mood of your crew) it can be loads of fun. While the girls may not have the skills of some other exotic dancers, they're not where the Crazy Horse creep factor starts to rise. Instead, focus too much on some of the other patrons and you're likely to want to leave pretty soon. If you've never been to a strip club before, and you make the Crazy Horse your first, chances are you'll never leave another club disappointed. It's definitely an easy act to follow.

Crazy Whores!!! This is where you go if you have been rejected from The Palace, or if you don't…read morehave quite enough cash for top of the range naked lady fun. there are a couple of kinks you should know before you take a horsey ride. firstly, cover-charge is free before 9pm and after that it goes up to $15, could be 20 these days which quite frankly, is ridiculous. Secondly, once you're in, don't bother going straight to the bar. Grab a seat and settle down for the night, a waitress will look after you - patrons are not permitted to go to the bar to order. remember that tipping your waitress is essential because she only gets paid for the first 4 hours she works, don't be surprised if you're short changed either, it's just how this place works. I believe you have a choice of a private room or getting a table dance, don't be surprised to see an eye in the sky once you get into the room though. girls, dont expect to get in for free just because you're tagging along with a bunch of guys. I cant tell you how many times girls have said "why should I pay to see what I already have" well, my advice is to go home and look in the mirror then, because everyone pays.

The Land of Promise is a dive bar, if ever I've seen one…read more It takes your eyes several moments to adjust to the dimness of the interior. I wasn't keen at the promise of "Adult Entertainment" and "Hot Girls" at lunchtime, but I was won over by the promise of a $6. Cheapness conquers all. I expected a lot of lecherous old men, but there were only a few. The rest must have been in the other room with the 'entertainment.' Few women venture into this place. The barmaid is quite gruff, as I imagine she'd have to be. I ordered my $6 fish and chips, and discovered I had to buy a full priced drink, but a coke kept it under $10. My other options were a beef schnitzel with salad and chips and any topping, or nachos, or bangers and mash. I saw a schnitzel come out later and regretted not getting one. The entertainment of the main room of the hotel is a large screen showing the cricket, and a drunk old man, staggering around and talking to everyone. I avoided eye-contact and sent out my strongest ice queen vibes, and he thankfully left me alone. The other woman who came in wasn't so lucky, but he didn't try with her for long, and went back to talking loudly at the cricket. My fish and chips came very quickly. The chips were nice but a little cool, and the fish was quite small, but very yummy. A perfect size for a lunch. On the side came salad with an odd mayonnaise and mustard dressing, which was surprisingly tasty, and two pieces of buttered bread on the side. That made me chuckle, reminding me of my father who always wants bread with his F&C. While I'm not keen on the topless women next door, I could really come to like this place. It's very much a locals venue, and the bar staff know almost everyone who comes in.

I always find it amusing how reviewers make comments about not going into the back of this pub…read moredespite going to this pub, but then again I have to admit that while it may have thrilled me when I was young these places really don't interest me all that much any more. However, that aside, the main reason that I visited this pub was not for the back area (which does have a pretty decent beer garden by the way) but rather the front bar, which actually has a really cool, old man's pub feel about it. In fact the old men of this old man's pub are actually really warm and welcoming. Mind you, it isn't one of my favourite pubs, though in the past I have landed up here with friends. Oh, and they offer some pretty decent deals on food as well.

Went to a hens night on Saturday night and was a little sceptical at first, but once the night got…read moregoing I had a blast, Dave the CEO, was very accommodating and very polite, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. All the men were extremely friendly and professional. Great place for a hens night or a party, highly recommended Thanks for a fun evening

Most of the time when I was eighteen, I had no trouble thinking of new places to go where I hadn't…read moreyet completely embarrased myself. One night though, things were looking dire. I got desperate - my friends wanted to go to Supermild AGAIN and I had to think of something else. Drunk and running out of options my friends and I walked straight-faced through the door of Madame Josephine's. The first thing I saw was a naked man with a massive boner, rising out of the soap suds of the same blue plastic shell shaped children's wading pool I owned when I was five. I can't say that at any point I was particularly aroused or attracted to any of the men, but I got my kicks laughing at my friends getting nervous as buff naked men gave them lap-dances in tiny white towels. The vodka cruisers weren't that much more expensive than anywhere else either! Totally trashy, excellent, good times.

Lourdes massage is a wonderful place to go after a long days work! I have been going for a couple…read moreof years now and I'm constantly blown away by the luxury setting, the relaxed atmosphere and the absolutely beautiful women who work there. I'm made to feel very welcome every time. I enjoy the flexibility due to the almost 24 hour open times, the constant roster updates, the new girls frequently available to meet, the attentive caring attitude of everyone who works there and the cleanliness of the place. When I have a bit of extra time I do enjoy indulging in a spa which is well worth it. Definitely a fantastic place to step away from the reality of life for a little while and feel like a king.

came in yesterday afternoon, great place Bella was awesome. as for the fat bitch behind the…read morecounter, bad attitude extremely rude to customers she nearly wrecked the whole experience would have given 5 stars but thanks to fatty you get 3

clean establishment, the girls are absolutely stunning. the desk staff are really warm and…read morewelcoming, intros are exceptional and the general vibe is easy going. 10/10

From the owner: Eden massage has the most reputable ladies in Adelaide according to our clients and of course…read moreaccording to us, We have beautiful women inside and out and we are situated in a stunning heritage environment. We prioritize the health and wellbeing of all our staff and clients ensuring that it is a very happy experience for everyone.

I haven't been to the sauna for a while,but have been a fairly regular customer in the past.I hope…read moreto return soon. I have found the venue clean with a safe relaxed atmosphere. Upon arrival you will be asked to pay a small entry fee and given a key to a locker and a clean towel, which barely fits the waist to wear (if you choose to do so). After changing I suggest you try one of the two lounges,one has a bar and TV the other a 8 ball table and TV also a computer. I often choose the later to find a site on the computer to enjoy, I like to get at least semi erect before entering the wet area. Here you will find a Spa,Sauna.Plunge Pool and Steam room. Lubricant and Condoms are free and readily available in this area. For the more adventurous up stairs you will find glory holes and rooms with mattresses. Enjoy everyone, I have