Highlights for the tldr crew:
PROS
- quaint, convenient location
- pleasant employees
- on the cheap end for the Poconos
CONS
- excessively late for scheduled appointment
- hot stone couple massages light on stones, heavy on high speed and pain!
- you get what you pay for (and then some, as gratuity is all but mandatory)
***
I should start by mentioning that the location is super convenient, the decor and ambience were attractive and serene, and the employees were nothing but endearing and sweet. I can honestly say that if I were rating everything BUT the actual massage, this would be a four star review (minus one star for having to wait 40 minutes after my appointment time, booked well in advance).
However, the entire reason my partner and I visited was to enjoy our massages, and neither of us did. We've had hot stone massages on other vacations and left on Cloud 9, feeling like warm, sweet-smelling, buttery noodles. This time we left feeling worse for the wear and primed for battle!
To her credit, the person working on my partner did repeatedly ask her if she hurt and was okay. Since my partner has very ticklish feet, I'd assumed the flinching I heard was related to that until we talked about it afterward. Both of us were more sore after the massage than we were before, despite paying far more than we would have had we stayed in NYC and bought a couple of Groupons.
As for my personal experience, I was *not* asked how I felt throughout the duration of the massage. No more than 15 of the 60 total minutes actually utilized the hot stones (and I believe I'm being quite generous here); the majority of the time they rested on my spine, creating an unnerving--albeit not altogether intolerable--burning sensation. I spent the majority of my hour waiting: for the tension-melting magic of the hot stones; for the massage to slow to a relaxing pace; for the painful pressure to become pleasurable. If anything, the longer I waited, the worse things became.
From what I could tell, the person working on me alternated between pushing against my hips and shoulder blades with the heels of her hands and digging down into the fleshier parts in between with her fingertips. THAT ISH HURT. I was temporarily relieved once I heard the clattering of the stones--that is, until my back was assaulted at turbo speed with what felt like an angry pizza wheel! It felt as though she rubbed the stones into my back on their edges like an eraser or a dull knife (as opposed to cupping them flat in her palms and gliding them along my skin, as I have come to expect). I spent the last 10 minutes of the massage grimacing, clenching and unclenching my fists, and waiting for it to end.
This spa's professionalism seems to stop short of the quality of the actual services, and for better or for worse, we were lulled into trusting that they knew what they were doing and letting them do their jobs--at the expense of the comfort of our backs for the duration of our vacation. (Of note: as of 11/14/2017--three days since the service--my partner says she's still in pain. As for me, I'm experiencing twinges in certain positions here and there. Note also that, for what it's worth, my partner did see a sign saying all their employees are professionally certified.)
To add insult to (literal) injury, I was explicitly asked for a tip after completing the initial transaction. I saw that the credit card receipt didn't have a space to write one in and figured it was for the best. The person who worked on me actually stopped me and, after I said I wasn't carrying cash, asked me to charge it to another, separate credit card transaction, even trying for twice the amount I offered (once each for both my partner's and my massages...really??). Despite her beating the ish out of my back, I'd planned to leave a little something if for nothing other than their friendliness, but I found her running me down for it to be tacky and crass.
Bottom line: if you do decide to spend your (excessive) time and money here, don't be too polite to complain about the amateurish massage you'll inevitably receive, as they certainly won't be too polite to ask you to pay for it above and beyond its value. read more