I really wanted Rogers to work for me. After countless hospitalizations and residentials, PHPs, IOPs, medications, ECT, ketamine, CBT, DBT, etc. I was truly so desperate for something to actually work. I came to the trauma residential having newly been diagnosed with PTSD, so I had barely done any exposure work prior to coming (I honestly didn't even believe my trauma "counted" as trauma). Like prior reviews, I was encouraged to take my time, and that the timing of the program was relatively loose in order to accommodate individual patient needs. Yikes, was I wrong. Just as I began to develop some intense and scary reactions to my exposure work, they were encouraging me to leave. For the first time, I had experienced panic attacks, which became more and more frequent to the point that I they thought I was having seizures. At the time of planned discharge, I had written a long email stating how I wasn't safe to leave and was afraid I would act impulsively upon leaving with this new overwhelming anxiety on top of my persistent depression. This went on deaf ears- they said I had anticipatory anxiety when I was trying to safety plan for outpatient care, and they ignored my very high SI ratings. It was only until I sat Dr. Kramer down and pleaded with her, saying that if something happened to me, there was a written document attesting to her ignoring me. She suddenly changed her tune after that, and allowed me 2 more weeks (8 wk total). Unfortunately, as I was still not ready to leave, my panic escalated and I was inpatient 2 weeks later.
I continued to be tossed back and forth between programs who didn't want to deal with me, until I ended up in the FOCUS PHP, which honestly helped a lot- it had helpful groups and strong behavioral and values-based support. However, my panic continued to worsen and no one seemed to have any ability to help. Each day, I would have severe, completely debilitating panic attacks for 1-2 hours, 3 times/day. As someone who was from another state, I felt so alone and hopeless that I ended up making an attempt.
I wish the saga ended there, but it didn't. Inpatient was so incredibly challenging as someone with such bad panic. There were big male patients having psychotic episodes, jumping over the administration desk and throwing phones and other objects, there was another patient who danced around naked throughout the halls, there was another patient who lived next to me who threatened to beat me up..I could keep going. The worst part was that the FOCUS PHP wouldn't take me back "because I had already gotten everything out of it" so my inpatient "team" attempted to discharge me to an outpatient therapist and psychiatrist who I had never met (even though I obviously required a higher level of care) and because I was staying at Rogers' affiliated housing, I would have to vacate within 24 hours. I would have no place to live, no family/friends, and care with 2 outpatient providers who I had never met. This was simply unacceptable.
I do think Rogers has the potential to do good- I think the combination of exposure therapy and behavioral activation/values-based therapy, plus the other art and rec therapies, have a lot of power to heal. However, Rogers cannot keep looking the other way when patients are suffering and screaming out for help. Of the ~12-14 people I went to residential with, there are 6 that I know of who went back inpatient or attempted after leaving. 1 is too many, Rogers. Please do the work and listen to patients, take feedback and formal grievances seriously. Patients like me are HURTING because of your actions.
Please, if anyone has a grievance you would like to file with Rogers, or if you find errors in your medical record (I found MANY), PLEASE I urge you to make Rogers aware of this. The more voices, the harder it is to ignore. Click on this link to request your records or file an amendment to them. You can also call the front desk or contact the Release of Information Team to file a grievance: https://rogersbh.org/what-expect/health-records-information#:~:text=Physical%20and%20Medications.-,Chart%20Amendment%20Request,contacted%20regarding%20your%20requested%20changes. read more