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Riverside Regional Jail

1.0 (4 reviews)

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11 months ago

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Richmond City Jail

Richmond City Jail

2.8(4 reviews)
17.9 mi•Upper Shockoe Valley, Church Hill

Long wait times during processing. One person ahead of me and it still took over 2 hours…read more Minimally staffed facility, that moves at a snail's pace. Absolutely ridiculous!

If you feel like going out of town to get your civil disobedience on, I strongly recommend going…read moreelsewhere. The transportation service provided was most disagreeable. The chauffeur was condescending and the ride intolerably bumpy and without air conditioning. It was considerate of them to rinse the mace from my eyes (though I fail to understand why I was hosed at all), however my clothes were soaked and the effects lingered. Upon arrival, I was seated in a waiting area for eight hours (a bus. It was a bus). We are in the middle of a pandemic, yet people were packed one per foot. After being given a misdemeanor charge (for being out past my bed time) I was shown to a second waiting area, where ambience was provided in the form of the ever objective Fox News. The commemorative photo they took was unflattering and lacked a sense of composition-this guy was no Saul Leiter. After a few more hours of waiting (and waiting, and waiting-the predominate theme of my visit, as I am sure you have discerned, was waiting. It was worse than being at Disney Land in mid July without a fast pass), I was shown to a cell. The decoration was wanting, and while I appreciate their use of a local artist, the mural on my cell's wall was nonetheless amateurish. Still, it did succeed in making me long to be literally anywhere else. The food (which I had waited fourteen hours for) was a single piece of mystery lunch meat on plain white bread and a days old apple. The only water provided was what came out of the sink and had to be shared with my cellmates. My compliments to the chef. Having at last been served, I was unceremoniously shown the door. Seriously, get arrested elsewhere. This place was a joke.

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Richmond City Jail
Richmond City Jail
Richmond City Jail

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Northern Neck Regional Jail - I hear the VIP room is over-rated.

Northern Neck Regional Jail

2.0(2 reviews)
54.7 mi

Love that the stainless steel toilet seats are easy to clean (urine beads right off)…read more Haven't yet had the elusive Wagyu steaks that are served in the mess hall every 6th Saturday of the month, but all the other prisoners rave about the exquisite marbling and fantastic taste. A few colleagues told me to avoid some of the southern food, like the corn bread, as it is intermittently laced with ex-lax. The prison hooch is meh, the floaties are tasteless, and is overpriced at 1 strip of postage stamps. Much prefer the delectable margaritas served in Seychelles, or the hard-charging vodka that is available in much of mother Russia The VIP prisoner section is the way to go (no roomies!). No dual ankle bracelets required AND they send a guard past the cell every 15 minutes because they like us so much. There are spectacular artists on my cell block! I'm considering a Richard Nixon tattoo for my lower back, spades on my ankle, and/or the border outline of Ukraine to help obfuscate the blemishes on my groin. This resort offers so much self-improvement: I've taken up the yoga, mindful meditation, green tea enemas, and am happily gluten free for 16 hours and counting! Cons: -there is a lingering odor that doesn't seem to go away. The smell could be that my mentally ill friend Roger, has feces-flinging-fits. And they are not often cleaned up -mobile phone use costs 3 cans of tuna, which is overpriced as there is no WhatsApp on the flip phone -the library has a pitiful selection similar to that rural Alabama town Sessions took me to once: they are missing the Reagan-era National Reviews, and they don't carry Foreign Policy magazine, at all

Honestly this place is nicer than many of the hotels in Ukraine and Russia that I have visited…read more The food isn't bad and the homemade Pruno is awesome. My only complaint is the visitor policy. I'm positive my good friend Don has been calling and trying to visit for weeks, but they must be preventing him from getting in contact because I haven't heard from him yet.

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Northern Neck Regional Jail

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Riverside Regional Jail - jailsandprisons - Updated May 2026

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