Leave your drop top Bentley at the entrance, take a nap in your Suite at this vineyard estate, and…read morestrap on your Limited Edition Patek Philippe because it's time to dine like royalty.
The rustic French country dining room is suitable for Kings and Presidents whether they're still in power, recently deposed, or being tried in absentia. (Alas, not suitable for one who eats Big Macs every day).
Everything is muted including the colors, the activity of the staff, and the diner's conversation. Everything is muted except the bright shining silver Duck Press tucked in an alcove ready to show you who's your Duck Daddy.
Thankfully there was no Johnny Hallyday rock loop cranked up to concert volume to compete with.
The Staff: To be frank they make you happy you're here dropping your Francs. A top professional well oiled serving machine. The kitchen helmed by Phillipp Chevier and Damien Coche were inspired.
The Vibe: Who goes there? The Fortune 500 but after I dined there make that the Fortune 499. Even Bill Gates would have been wait listed if the place was full and it always is.
The Food: Haute cuisine without being haughty. Over the top and off the chart. Yes, there are ala carte options but have the tasting menu or do what I did. Dive into the Chef's Surprise. Live on the edge of the ledge with Somm paired wines. (I had six different wines during dinner which comes with a required small bilge pump afterwards.)
The Amuse-Bouche included a Carrot Puree Tart, Potato Coin topped with Smoked Salmon, a Celeriac Croquet with Curried Mustard, and a micro mound of baby Vegetables with Lemon. Thus, the meal headed down the first speed ramp of a culinary Bobsled Run.
A tiny filet of Mackerel in a Beetroot and Blackberry Coulis will change the way you feel about mackerel assuming that you feel anything at all about mackerel. For me, I now know why mackerel is holy.
Soon, the Bread Fairy arrives with an Oregano Swirl, Corn Rolls, Mini-Baguettes, and Tomato-Mozzarella Bread served with Sel de Fleur and a local Olive Oil. These could easily defeat serious diners and I defy you to say Merci, non.
Next, the Frog Leg Lollipops hopped out of the kitchen all settled in Tomato Sauce with Black Garlic. Now you will sleep better as the pond outside your room will be silent.
I was full by this time, but wait...there's more.
Duck Liver, Quince, Crispy and Creamy Apple with Jerez Vinegar. How many things in your life are both gorgeous an delicious? It came with a bright Viognier aged three years in the barrel where I have spent weekends. The Somm was not going to play it safe with Chef's Surprise Menu. The wines will make your glands tingle. (That's Salivary glands, in case you were wondering.)
The Red Claw Crayfish from Lake Geneva (and I thought it only had tossed coins, tour boats and floating styrofoam cups) came with a Brunoise of Celery and Green Apple in a Cardamom Curry Emulsion. Homage to homard. It was petit and what a treat with just a lick-a Loosiana heat left behind.
Line Caught Sea Bass, chopped Razor Clams in the shell with Crispy Basmati Rice was next. Lord, I'm ready as fish and heaven ain't gettin' any better than this.
Can you guess what flew out of the kitchen after that? Yup, a Grey Partridge with shredded Cabbage, Parsley Root, Rutabaga, Salsify, Onion, Parsnip and Chestnut with a Pear poached in white wine (Riesling) and an Apple poached in Pinot Noir. No need to worry about the partridge in the pear tree this Christmas as that bad boy was on my plate.
By this time I was ready to tank and thrown in the towel, slap the mat for mercy, tap out and beg the Ref to call it. But then they rolled out the
Cheese Trolley carrying between 40 and 50 varieties to select. When the going gets tough, the tough cut the cheese.
Reblochon, Fermier, Langre washed with Champagne, (a fun idea for a fun date, no?), Mathais sur Feulles (goat to you), Brinda Amour (Corsican Sheep) with Ash Rot washed in local water. (The end of a not so fun date). All served with Pumpkin Seed Bread, Malt Bread, and a Ginger Bread so strong I will have Angle breath for a month.
Dessert was out of the question, but then who's asking? Baby Finger Bananas, with Passionfruit Sauce, Speculoos Cookie Caramel Corn Crumble with Coconut Ice Cream. Reminds me of the islands? Nope, reminds me of one of the World's great spectacular dinners.
Just as you're taking off your bib out comes a Cassis, Ginger, Chestnut Tart, a Passionfruit Tart with Vanilla Lime Sauce, Pear Jellies, Pure Swiss Chocolate Truffles, Chocolate Dipped Gooseberries and Raspberry Pralines. Had enough? How about the Mont Blanc of Chestnut Cream with Chestnut Ice Cream? Well, you get that too...it's the Chef's Surprise.
Domaine de Chateauvieux is worth a quick re-do for me and now, you.