I'll start with the good: the massages themselves were top-notch. My girlfriend loved them. If…read morethere were a way to get the massage without having to deal with the front desk or management, this would probably be a five-star experience.
Unfortunately, there isn't.
I originally made an appointment on a whim because my girlfriend was having back problems from work. Being the wonderful boyfriend that I am, I booked her a massage. When we arrived, we filled out enough paperwork to make me wonder if she was getting a massage or being admitted for outpatient surgery.
During that visit, I was talked into buying a three-massage package for her birthday. I spent over $400, and only after paying did I learn the fun details: the massages couldn't be used at another Massage Envy location, and because I bought them for her, I couldn't use them either. She had to use them, at this specific location. Annoying, but whatever.
Also, a "60-minute massage" apparently has a very loose definition of 60 minutes. They go back several minutes late and somehow finish with plenty of time left on the clock. Nothing says relaxation quite like realizing your massage therapist is watching the clock more closely than you are.
Then came the appointment that really made this place special.
We had a Sunday appointment and arrived early so I could tip the provider and make sure my girlfriend was ready on time. We walked in and were cheerfully informed that the provider had called in sick. People get sick. No problem.
The problem was being told they had contacted me to let me know.
No call. No voicemail. No text. No email. Nothing.
I was then offered another appointment around 2:30 that afternoon. Fantastic. I had already driven 25 minutes there, so apparently the solution was for me to drive 25 minutes home, come back again later, and then drive home again. Roughly two hours of driving because they canceled the appointment. I declined that generous offer.
I was angry and admittedly didn't handle the conversation at the front desk particularly well, so I left before I made an even bigger ass of myself.
I contacted Massage Envy corporate afterward and learned that each franchise is independently operated, so I needed to deal directly with this location. I actually intended to stop back in and apologize to the front desk staff for how irritated I had gotten. Before I had the chance, I received a phone call from the location where I was argued with and told someone from management would contact me.
I'm still waiting.
My favorite part, though, is their cancellation policy.
If I cancel without enough notice, I pay half the appointment fee. If I cancel at the last minute or don't show up, I can be charged the entire amount. Fair enough--they're running a business and their time has value.
Apparently, my time has a market value of exactly $0.
They canceled our appointment, failed to notify me, caused me to make a completely unnecessary 50-minute round trip, and offered no refund, credit, complimentary massage, or meaningful attempt to make it right.
So, my review is pretty simple: the massage therapists are great. The customer service surrounding them is not.
Be careful buying packages at this particular location. Make sure you understand exactly what you're buying before handing over your money, because they are very good at selling the service and considerably less impressive when it comes to fixing a problem after they have your money.
To the Massage Envy management team that will eventually read this: you have my phone number and email address. Please feel free to contact me. I would genuinely love to speak with someone who actually has the authority to make a decision.
