Yo my name is Fox and I'm a strange Fella,
I eat pretty much…read moreanything but Salmonella,
F. Scott Fitzgerald's cool but I prefer Ella,
And Burning Man's nice but I'd rather do Coachella.
I went to the bank and there was a cute Teller,
I sweet-talked him into coming to my Cellar,
We role-played, I was Yoda, he was Helen Keller,
He showed me how to Windmill, I taught him to Propeller.
I said my diamond's so hard I make that Tiffany Jeller,
He said I make sausage disappear faster than Penn & Teller,
I said you make The Jam better than Paul Weller,
But is it really meant to be the colour of Nutella?
So then he was hungry, I was hungry as Wella,
(Please no comments on my skill as a Speller),
I said, there's this place where the pizza is Hella,
Good, so I took him and we went to eat at Bella!
What to get: Slices
What not to get: Herpes
I was going to talk about the dating history of the owner, but that'd have been "Bella the belt". Let's focus on the pizza.
One of the most delicious slices in MI. A massive statement as Detroit Pizza is some of the best. Higher standards than any city other than Buffalo. It's mostly gooey doughy cheesy grease-fests with pepperoni, but it tastes damn good. Nobody makes them better than Bella. Primo's & BC are the other two which are amazing, they're both nearby.
Service is great too. They have slices in the evenings sometimes. Wait time is well worth it. Phenomenal world-class life-changing pizza. But like I said if you don't like greasy doughy cheesy, then this might not be for you. Neither might Yelp.
Detroit Pizza has similarities to Buffalo Pizza. The 2 best homemade All-American style pizza cities in the world. Bella was my first slice on my 2nd tour of dreamy Detroit Pizza. I'll never forget it. Spectacular.
BC's, Primo, and this here Bella set the Detroit Pizza bar very high. Even higher than Charlie Sheen. Yes, I'm serious. Sketchy character outside asking me for money, but I expect that from Detroit. Or anywhere these days. #Capitalism
Nice baked crusty taste. Thick cheese, saucier than your mother last night. One of the simplest, best incarnations of American pizza I've ever had. Comparable to the best versions in Buffalo.
Most Yelpish locals & all tourists don't get or appreciate it. Thick, doughy pizza bread, hearty homemade tomato sauce, thick layers of cheese, with greasy-ass pepperoni as the crown on the King that is Detroit Style, on the throne that is delicious dough, of the Kingdom that is Pizza. So put that in your oven and bake it.
Motown knows how to pizza. Bella knows better than most. Sky-high standards, Buffalo is the only other place on that level. Funnily enough the pizza in Detroit - much like that in Buffalo - is best found south of the city. Morons will tell you that there is no South Detroit and that Journey were wrong, but there really is. It's called Downriver, specifically Allen Park. Technically SW of downtown, but it's South enough. I highly recommend BC's, this place - Bella, Paul's, and the Allen Park location of local chain Primo's. Always skip national chains, esp in Detroit.
Yes NYC has 4 of my 5 "best slices". But for overall excellence, nothing is close to the consistent standards of Buffalo and Detroit. And in Detroit, this is easily top 5. For me. So far.
Bear in mind (yes, I'm thinking of a bear - hint: whichever way it turns, it is facing south - what kind of bear is it), it's not for hipster healthy locally sourced gluten free stuff. For that, head to Williamsburg and stop hogging Yelp and ruining everybody's authentic cuisines.
Bella gave me my groove back just like Stella,
The crust is so good it can be eaten Acapella,
The cheese was like Coldplay (it was all Yella),
With crispy Pepperoni swimming in the Mozarella.
If it was in Brazil it would rule the Favela,
If my tummy is a cell then this pizza's the Flagella,
If Pizza Hut's a one-liner, this is a Novella,
This slice is "Taylor Lautner", not Edward or Bella.
I ran so fast to get here, I ruptured my Patella,
When I slipped in the rain and almost caught Rubella,
Until Rihanna let me stand under her Umbrella.
Ella Ella. Eh Eh Eh.
We went to the Pub and we shared a pint of Stella,
We Netflix & Chilled while we watched Barbarella,
We made out and listened to Michael Jackson's Thrella,
She showed me her Hopeless Place, I showed her my Goodfella.
I had her like Cabaret had Liza Minella,
I got repelled like Citronella when I ate her Paella,
But I chose not to tell her, that she smelled of Mortadella,
Cuz she looked like Cinderella and I ruled her like Mandela.
She said "I went to Harvard" so I showed her my Cornella,
Then I asked Ri Ri if she'd be my Abuela,
She said "that means Granny!" and tried to cap me like Old Yeller,
I ran away, but after days, I could still smell her...
So I wrote a tell-all book and it became a bestseller.
(But the straight-to-TV movie was less-than-stellar).
(And since you asked, I'm a grower *and* a shower *and* a sweller).
