I've been chomping at the bit to write a review on this puppy. You know the saying "When in…read moreRome...", well, this stop falls into the category of "When in Amsterdam..."
I don't typically find myself at sex museums, but this time, I figured what the hell.
Located in the Red Light District, this charmer of a museum aims to strike visitors from the get go with a Dutch female mannequin perched upon a bicycle with a dildo pumping in out and out as she merrily pedals along. Oh what? You don't regularly see Dutch gals on bikes getting it as they roll along? I have to say it was a sour start to the visit. I had hoped the museum would take a moderate stance that didn't objectify women throughout every inch of the four-story building. However, my friend and I entered with an open mind (he seemed to be especially excited) and curious approach.
The museum is organized into four small rooms that continue to wind upward floor after floor. One would expect even an Erotic Museum to have nameplates to describe the clay sculptures of Chinese women double-teaming a man sporting a golden, leg-like rod and papyrus covered with naked fairies you find yourself gazing upon. Unfortunately, their were no such nameplates - rather, they were described with simple plates like "China 1945" or "Madonna 1989". In addition to a lack of nameplates, there seems to be no particular organization or pattern from room to room (other than the dedicated S+M floor complete with a mannequin draped upon a chained chair perfect for perverted picture opps). I prefer my sex museums orderly and with rhythm. Maybe I'm a snobby museum-goer, but I'm not going to deny that I like to know what the hell I'm looking at and a building full of sex-related nicknacks isn't going to cut it.
One last note, be sure to peek your head in the cartoony side room complete with ceramic mushrooms to sit upon and the.weirdest.fucking.film. you've ever seen. I believe this cartoon porn was created in America based on the English dialect. Imagine (yes, I said imagine - so play along): a cartoon female with only her breasts exposed and cats and other talking animals "putting it to her" or battling raging boners. Weird. Really weird. Like kinda sorta made my skin crawl watching it. But, I'm going to tell you to check it out, but only because it was THAT weird and I want to hear what you think of it.