This place kicks ass. They say that misery loves company... and I really wouldn't know, nor would…read morethe rest of the bar patrons. The vibe is great, the food is qual', and the drinks are a'flowin!
I popped in for a night cap (or should I say day-cap?) after receiving some pretty awful news; the judge is revoking my supervised child visitation rights. Those kids need a father, and "Josh" or whatever sure as hell ain't man enough to teach em about the cold reality of the real world. The guy grew up rich and has no idea what's going on. He wouldn't even fight me in the parking lot of Specklebelly's this morning after he picked up the kids. Maggie is going to come crawling back to me any day now, once she realizes what a chump Josh is. I just miss my kids
Anyways, the blonde bartended dude, I think his name is Ryan, is totally legit. He got me real good and tanked. I was eating cheeseburgers, I was doing belly shots (which is kind of their thing, hence the name Specklebelly's, although in this case the speckles were vomit, shout out to Kevin!), at one point I did a keg stand. A random dude brought in a piñata and we got him super drunk. Kevin disappeared and I was like "where the fuck is Kevin?" and then he came out of the bathroom wearing a wedding dress! I was like "what the fuck!!!" I was laughing my ass off.
They did last call at a legally appropriate time, but that sure as shit didn't stop the party. I was super impressed by the level of finesse executed by Ryan when he wouldn't let me drive home. He told me he'd arm wrestle me for my keys. I knew I probably wouldn't win because Ryan is totally yoked out, like he might even be on steroids, which would certainly explain his anger problems and his extremely short fuse. He went pretty easy on me when we were armwrestling, almost letting me think for a second I was going to win and be able to drive home, but then SLAM! He took my keys and wouldn't let me drive. For a minute I was pissed, but then Kevin reminded me that I'm on probation for some shit that went down a while back.
It was November of 2003 and I was going through a rough time. The Saskatoon Blades, my favorite hockey team, had just lost the championship. And Maggie was pregnant with out first child, Walter (Shout out to Walter!). We were in the parking lot outside of the SaskTel Centre arena and I was totally losing my shit. I put her in a headlock, but one of those fake headlocks where you give somebody a noogie, it was funny, we were laughing. There was an undercover cop in the parking lot who was a Moose Jaw Warriors fan and he felt like showing off or something so he sprayed pepper spray in my face. That's why I'm on probation.
Anyways, I fucking love Specklebelly's. Thanks for the good times!