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    Malarkey's

    2.3 (3 reviews)

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    Carriage Haus - i saw this guy in the bathroom

    Carriage Haus

    2.4(9 reviews)
    0.8 mi
    $

    My Night at Carriage Haus…read more I walked into Carriage Haus expecting some kind of low-key dive bar, but from the moment I stepped in, I knew something was off. The place was dimly lit, half the lightbulbs flickering or completely dead, giving the whole room a sickly yellow glow. The air was thick -- a rancid cocktail of sweat, smoke, and something chemical I couldn't name. Every corner felt like it was holding a secret I didn't want to know. I made my way to the bathroom first, thinking I'd at least wash my hands before ordering a drink. Big mistake. The door creaked like it hadn't been oiled in years, and inside it looked like the set of a horror movie. Stalls with broken locks, floors coated in who-knows-what, and an overpowering smell of mildew, sweat, and something far worse. In the corner, a nearly naked man was crouched low, gathering crumbs from the tiles like a starving raccoon. The sinks were dry, the paper towel dispensers empty, and not a square of toilet paper in sight. Back in the main room, things didn't improve. The crowd felt like a living wall of chaos -- people moving, bumping, and shoving as if violence was always a breath away. The music wasn't music so much as a distorted bass rumble, the kind that vibrates in your teeth. I couldn't tell if the haze in the air was from smoke or something else entirely. At one point, I swear I saw a mangy animal -- maybe a monkey, maybe a dog -- skitter across the floor in a diaper, eyes wide and wild. Nobody seemed to notice. Nobody seemed to care. People were pressed together in corners, whispering, laughing, or doing things I didn't want to look at. The whole place felt less like a bar and more like a purgatory for the damned. Everywhere I turned, someone was brushing against me, grabbing me, or pressing too close. By the time I made it to the exit, I felt like I'd been touched hundreds of times -- not in a warm, friendly way, but in the way that makes your skin crawl. I could almost feel the grime clinging to me as I pushed out into the night air. I didn't even look back. I just walked, fast, until the glow of Carriage Haus faded behind me. Even now, just thinking about it makes my stomach turn -- like stepping for a night into a crackling pocket of hell where chaos reigns and decency is just a rumor.

    Great management, staff, security and atmosphere. Highly recommend! The new management that has…read moretaken over since 2024 has built this establishment into the Quad Cities hottest night club!

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    Carriage Haus

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    The Fieldhouse

    The Fieldhouse

    2.6(16 reviews)
    50.6 mi
    $

    How do you field about this place? I'll tell you how I feeled…read more We had a lot of fun at the Fieldhouse. But who wouldn't? Definitely one of the coolest places in Iowa City to hang out with all the college kids and wild partying folks. The one problem that we had with the Fieldhouse was violence! There were some absolute punks trying to make trouble because there was the beauty queen of the century dressed like a glamour model (swoon swoon swoon), and she was with a guy that looked like a short Latin Prizefighter (as in, a mismatch to superficial types, she was a foot taller than him) and these very aggressive tall punks apparently thought she was too good for him so they tried to start a fight by touching her and making inappropriate comments and insulting her boyfriend. So I had to come in between them and I got smacked for my trouble. I helped to prevent a really bad fight and then the police showed up and they tried to arrest both the punks and the boyfriend and the hot girlfriend. So I had to explain to the police that I had no relation to any of the people in the fight and that there were really only one set of instigators and the other ones were just trying to defend themselves. And that she was molested. In the end I managed to talk everyone down with the help of my good friend the police officer and nobody got arrested but it was some really messed up stuff. The cop was either going to arrest everyone, or nobody. So it was better for everybody that nobody get arrested. You're welcome, cutie and cutie's bf. Call me. But yeah, the crowd in here - insane. Wall to wall, sea of people, like sardines. Loud and crazy. Sometimes even playing good music. Sometimes.

    On holiday from the UK but got good old American racism. Female security guard on Thursday accused…read moremy friend of harassing her and threatened to call the police because he to get in the club. He left his ID at home but had proof on his phone (several clubs let him with his ID on his phone on the same night) but not physically, he asked to teoce get in a polite and calm manner but yet she somehow, she was accusing of him of "harassing" her and threatened and to call the police for absolutely no reason. He then went home to get his ID to returned to the club, I came out to speak to him and I got kicked out for no clear reason aside from speaking to him. I had my ID, I was sober and did absolutely nothing wrong, they couldn't even justify or explain why they kicked me out. And to Make matters worse, there was this racist message In The bathroom. Living in the UK, you hear a lot about racism in the US but it's sad see it's really as racist as they say.

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    The Fieldhouse - The most exceptional picture of The Fieldhouse ever taken.

    The most exceptional picture of The Fieldhouse ever taken.

    The Fieldhouse - Josh

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    Josh

    Malarkey's - danceclubs - Updated May 2026

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