I spent a year of my life at this congregation. In March 2018, informed the board of their rabbi's reprimand and censure by the Central Congress of American Rabbis for sexual misconduct. They initially responded kindly and were willing to set up a meeting with me, the complainant, so that I could tell my story. When I did not receive a response to my request to confirm the meeting time, I called the cell phone number provided for the temple president. The temple president hung up on me as soon as I said who I was, and then blocked my number.
I sent many e-mails and was eventually given the opportunity to tell my story in person in a law firm in Durham on short notice. Two business days later, the rabbi resigned. I only found out about his resignation from their lawyer and from the CCAR. Nobody from the actual community reached out to me. In fact, the temple would no longer correspond with me at all. They would not answer my questions about what aspects of my story were being told at their annual meeting, or regarding whether or not I was still welcome at the temple.
After a few weeks their lawyer eventually wrote me, essentially giving me the brush off. In doing this, Judea Reform's board demonstrated no empathy or sensitivity for a real, live victim of clergy sexual "misconduct." While I appreciate that they did eventually meet with me to hear my story, I do not appreciate being so discarded afterwards. If these people really practiced what they sing about every week, they would offer more than scary meetings with lawyers followed by cold silence. The temple president's behavior of hanging up on me and blocking my number, and the board's later behavior of shunning me were the opposite of what they purport to teach at this temple.
This is a great temple if you like politics and lack any real interest in those who are standing right next to you. It is a great temple if you don't want to ever get your hands dirty and dig into real issues and problems affecting your community as they come up. I give them two stars for meeting with me at all, and for their music programs and art exhibits. But knowing what I know now, I do not recommend this place as a spiritual home. Concerts, art shows, socials? Sure. Genuine spirituality and human decency? Absolutely not.
Feel free to read the recent article in the Forward about my ordeal (published 6/04/2018). There is also a lot that is not published that is very important. For those who know who I am, I am willing to share the full complaint that I submitted to CCAR -- you need only to ask. I hope that this post and the recent Forward article will serve to alert members and prospective members of my lived experience, and give them pause. This is a very serious issue and not something to take lightly.
Judea Reform had an opportunity to do something really progressive and wonderful with this situation, but instead attempted to sweep the victim under the rug like so many other congregations have done before them. For all of their rhetoric about being a community, this is greatly disappointing. First, I was traumatized by their rabbi. Then, I got to watch as these people hosted small group "healing" sessions over the loss of their rabbi and receive a special visit from the URJ president on Shavuot, while refusing to acknowledge my existence. Can you imagine how this felt for me, as the victim? I felt, and still feel, invisible. I would have liked to have seen more inclusion and embracement of the actual woman who needed it most. I even offered to help write something up for the congregation to explain what had happened. To only interact with me through a lawyer is awful, just awful.
If you ever go to Judea Reform, do confront their president and board members about this. Ask, "What are we doing as a congregation to acknowledge the woman who Rabbi Bach abused?" And "Can we have a code name for her that we say whenever we name people who need prayers for healing?" This is part of the temple's history whether they like it or not. Those who forget history... read more
